The Innocents Abroad, or The New Pilgrims' Progress • Paragraph 1359
Stage 1 of 6

Read it through once

It is painful--it is even humiliating--but I am reduced at last to one slender theory: that the oysters climbed up there of their own accord. But what object could they have had in view?--what did they want up there? What could any oyster want to climb a hill for? To climb a hill must necessarily be fatiguing and annoying exercise for an oyster. The most natural conclusion would be that the oysters climbed up there to look at the scenery. Yet when one comes to reflect upon the nature of an oyster, it seems plain that he does not care for scenery. An oyster has no taste for such things; he cares nothing for the beautiful. An oyster is of a retiring disposition, and not lively--not even cheerful above the average, and never enterprising. But above all, an oyster does not take any interest in scenery--he scorns it. What have I arrived at now? Simply at the point I started from, namely, those oyster shells are there, in regular layers, five hundred feet above the sea, and no man knows how they got there. I have hunted up the guide-books, and the gist of what they say is this: “They are there, but how they got there is a mystery.”