The Merrie Wiues of Windsor

THE Merry Wiues of Windsor.

Actus primus, Scena prima.

Enter Iustice Shallow, Slender, Sir Hugh Euans, Master Page, Falstoffe, Bardolph, Nym, Pistoll, Anne Page, Mistresse Ford, Mistresse…

Shallow. SIr Hugh, perswade me not: I will make a Star‑Chamber matter of it, if hee were twenty…

Slen. In the County of Glocester, Iustice of Peace and (Coram.

Shal. I (Cosen Slender) and Cust‑alorum.

Slen. I, and Rato lorum too; and a Gentleman borne (Master Parson) who writes himselfe Armigero, in any…

Shal. I that I doe, and haue done any time these three hundred yeeres.

Slen. All his successors (gone before him) hath don't: and all his Ancestors (that come after him) may:…

Shal. It is an olde Coate.

Euans. The dozen white Lowses doe become an old Coat well: it agrees well passant: It is a…

Shal. The Luse is the fresh‑fish, the salt‑fish, is an old Coate.

Slen. I may quarter (Coz).

Shal. You may, by marrying.

Euans. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

Shal. Not a whit.

Shal. Yes per‑lady: if he ha's a quarter of your coat, there is but three Skirts for your…

Shal. The Councell shall heare it, it is a Riot.

Euan. It is not meet the Councell heare a Riot: there is no feare of Got in a…

Shal. Ha; o' my life, if I were yong againe, the sword should end it.

Euans. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another deuice…

Slen. Mistris Anne Page? she has browne haire, and speakes small like a woman.

Euans. It is that ferry person for all the orld, as iust as you will desire, and seuen…

Slen. Did her Grand‑sire leaue her seauen hundred pound?

Euan. I, and her father is make her a petter penny.

Slen. I know the young Gentlewoman, she hasgood gifts.

Euan. Seuen hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.

Shal. Wel, let vs see honest Mr Page: is Falstaffe there?

Euan. Shall I tell you a lye? I doe despise a lyer, as I doe despise one that…

Mr. Page. Who's there?

Euan. Here is go't's plessing and your friend, and Iu­ stice Shallow, and heere yong Master Slender: that…

Mr. Page. I am glad to see your Worships well: I thanke you for my Venison Master Shallow.

Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good doe it your good heart: I wish'd…

M.Page. Sir, I thanke you.

Shal. Sir, I thanke you: by yea, and no I doe.

M.Pa. I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

Slen. How do's your fallow Greyhound, Sir, I heard say he was out‑run on Cotsall.

M.Pa. It could not be iudg'd, Sir.

Slen. You'll not confesse: you'll not confesse.

Shal. That he will not, 'tis your fault, 'tis your fault: 'tis a good dogge.

M.Pa. A Cur, Sir.

Shal. Sir: hee's a good dog, and a faire dog, can there be more said? he is good,…

M.Pa. Sir, hee is within: and I would I could doe a good office betweene you.

Euan. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speake.

Shal. He hath wrong'd me (Master Page.)

M.Pa. Sir, he doth in some sort confesse it.

Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that so (M. Page?) he hath wrong'd…

Ma.Pa Here comes Sir Iohn.

Fal. Now, Master Shallow, you'll complaine of me to the King?

Shal. Knight, you haue beaten my men, kill'd my deere, and broke open my Lodge.

Fal. But not kiss'd your Keepers daughter?

Shal. Tut, a pin: this shall be answer'd.

Fal. I will answere it strait, I haue done all this: That is now answer'd.

Shal. The Councell shall know this.

Fal. 'Twere better for you if it were known in coun­cell: you'll be laugh'd at.

Eu. Pauca verba; (Sir Iohn) good worts.

Fal. Good worts? good Cabidge; Slender, I broke your head: what matter haue you against me?

Slen. Marry sir, I haue matter in my head against you, and against your cony‑catching Rascalls, Bardolf, Nym,…

Bar. You Banbery Cheese.

Slen. I, it is no matter.

Pist. How now, Mephostophilus?

Slen. I, it is no matter.

Nym. Slice, I say; pauca, pauca: Slice, that's my humor.

Slen. Where's Simple my man? can you tell, Cosen?

Eua. Peace, I pray you: now let vs vnderstand: there is three Vmpires in this matter, as I…

Ma.Pa We three to hear it, & end it between them.

Euan. Ferry goo't, I will make a priefe of it in my note‑booke, and we wil afterwards orke…

Fal. Pistoll.

Pist. He heares with eares.

Euan. The Teuill and his Tam: what phrase is this? he heares with eare? why, it is affectations.

Fal. Pistoll, did you picke M. Slenders purse?

Slen. I, by these gloues did hee, or I would I might neuer come in mine owne great…

Fal. Is this true, Pistoll?

Euan. No, it is false, if it is a picke‑purse.

Pist. Ha, thou mountaine Forreyner: Sir Iohn, and Master mine, I combat challenge of this Latine Bilboe: word…

Slen. By these gloues, then 'twas he.

Nym. Be auis'd sir, and passe good humours: I will say marry trap with you, if you runne…

Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what…

Fal. What say you Scarlet, and Iohn?

Bar. Why sir, (for my part) I say the Gentleman had drunke himselfe out of his fiue sentences.

Eu. It is his fiue sences: fie, what the ignorance is.

Bar. And being fap, sir, was (as they say) casheerd: and so conclusions past the Car‑eires.

Slen. I, you spake in Latten then to: but 'tis no mat­ter; Ile nere be drunk whilst I…

Euan. So got‑udge me, that is a vertuous minde.

Fal. You heare all these matters deni'd, Gentlemen; you heare it.

Mr.Page. Nay daughter, carry the wine in, wee'll drinke within.

Slen. Oh heauen: This is Mistresse Anne Page.

Mr.Page. How now Mistris Ford?

Fal. Mistris Ford, by my troth you are very wel met: by your leaue good Mistris.

Mr.Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome: come, we haue a hot Venison pasty to dinner; Come gentle­ men,…

Slen. I had rather then forty shillings I had my booke of Songs and Sonnets heere: How now…

Sim. Booke of Riddles? why did you not lend it to Alice Short‑cake vpon Alhallowmas last, a fortnight…

Shal. Come Coz, come Coz, we stay for you: a word with you Coz: marry this, Coz: there…

Slen. I Sir, you shall finde me reasonable; if it be so, I shall doe that that is…

Shal. Nay, but vnderstand me.

Slen. So I doe Sir.

Euan. Giue eare to his motions; (Mr. Slender) I will description the matter to you, if you be…

Slen. Nay, I will doe as my Cozen Shallow saies: I pray you pardon me, he's a Iustice…

Euan. But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage.

Shal. I, there's the point Sir.

Eu. Marry is it: the very point of it, to Mr. An Page.

Slen. Why if it be so; I will marry her vpon any rea­sonable demands.

Eu. But can you affection the 'o‑man, let vs command to know that of your mouth, or of…

Sh. Cosen Abraham Slender, can you loue her?

Slen. I hope sir, I will do as it shall become one that would doe reason.

Eu. Nay, got's Lords, and his Ladies, you must speake possitable, if you can carry‑her your desires towards…

Shal. That you must: Will you, (vpon good dowry) marry her?

Slen. I will doe a greater thing then that, vpon your request (Cosen) in any reason.

Shal. Nay conceiue me, conceiue mee, (sweet Coz): What I doe is to pleasure you (Coz:) can you…

Slen. I will marry her (Sir) at your request; but if there bee no great loue in the…

Eu. It is a fery discretion‑answere; saue the fall is in the 'ord, dissolutely: the ort is (according…

Sh. I: I thinke my Cosen meant well.

Sl. I, or else I would I might be hang'd (la.)

Sh. Here comes faire Mistris Anne; would □ I were yong for your sake, Mistris Anne.

An. The dinner is on the Table, my Father desires your worships company.

Sh. I will wait on him, (faire Mistris Anne.)

Eu. Od's plessed‑wil: I wil not be absēce at the grace.

An. Wil't please your worship to come in, Sir?

Sl. No, I thank you forsooth, hartely; I am very well.

An. The dinner attends you, Sir.

Sl. I am not a‑hungry, I thanke you, forsooth: goe, Sirha, for all you are my man, goe…

An. I may not goe in without your worship: they will not sit till you come.

Sl. I'faith, ile eate nothing: I thanke you as much as though I did.

An. I pray you Sir walke in.

Sl. I had rather walke here (I thanke you) I bruiz'd my shin th' other day, with playing…

An. I thinke there are, Sir, I heard them talk'd of.

Sl. I loue the sport well, but I shall as soone quarrell at it, as any man in…

An. I indeede Sir.

Sl. That's meate and drinke to me now: I haue seene Saskerson loose, twenty times, and haue taken…

Ma.Pa Come, gentle M. Slender, come; we stay for you.

Sl. Ile eate nothing, I thanke you Sir.

Ma.Pa By cocke and pie, you shall not choose, Sir: come, come.

Sl. Nay, pray you lead the way.

Ma.Pa. Come on, Sir.

Sl. Mistris Anne: your selfe shall goe first.

An. Not I Sir, pray you keepe on.

Sl. Truely I will not goe first: truly‑la: I will not doe you that wrong.

An. I pray you Sir.

Sl. Ile rather be vnmannerly, then troublesome: you doe your selfe wrong indeede‑la.

Scena Secunda.

Enter Euans, and Simple.

Eu. Go your waies, and aske of Doctor Caius house, which is the way; and there dwels one…

Si. Well Sir.

Eu. Nay, it is petter yet: giue her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogeathers acquaintāce…

Exeunt.

Scena Tertia.

Enter Falstaffe, Host, Bardolfe, Nym, Pistoll, Page.

Fal. Mine Host of the Garter?

Ho. What saies my Bully Rooke? speake schollerly, and wisely.

Fal. Truely mine Host; I must turne away some of my followers.

Ho. Discard, (bully Hercules) casheere; let them wag; trot, trot.

Fal. I sit at ten pounds a weeke.

Ho. Thou'rt an Emperor (Cesar, Keiser and Pheazar) I will entertaine Bardolfe: he shall draw; he shall tap;…

Fa. Doe so (good mine Host.

Ho. I haue spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth, and liue: I am at a…

Fal. Bardolfe, follow him: a Tapster is a good trade: an old Cloake, makes a new Ierkin: a…

Ba. It is a life that I haue desir'd: I will thriue.

Pist. O base hungarian wight: wilt yu the spigot wield.

Ni. He was gotten in drink: is not the humor cōceited?

Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this Tinderbox: his Thefts were too open: his filching…

Ni. The good humor is to steale at a minutes rest.

Pist. Conuay: the wise it call: Steale? foh: a fico for the phrase.

Fal. Well sirs, I am almost out at heeles.

Pist. Why then let Kibes ensue.

Fal. There is no remedy: I must conicatch, I must shift.

Pist. Yong Rauens must haue foode.

Fal. Which of you know Ford of this Towne?

Pist. I ken the wight: he is of substance good.

Fal. My honest Lads, I will tell you what I am about.

Pist. Two yards, and more.

Fal. No quips now Pistoll: (Indeede I am in the waste two yards about: but I am now…

Pist. He hath studied her will; and translated her will: out of honesty, into English.

Ni. The Anchor is deepe: will that humor passe?

Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husbands Purse: he hath a legend…

Pist. As many diuels entertaine: and to her Boy say I.

Ni. The humor rises: it is good: humor me the angels.

Fal. I haue writ me here a letter to her: & here ano­ ther to Pages wife, who…

Pist. Then did the Sun on dung‑hill shine.

Ni. I thanke thee for that humour.

Fal. O she did so course o're my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of…

Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side weare Steele? then Lucifer take all.

Ni. I will run no base humor: here take the humor‑ Letter; I will keepe the hauior of…

Fal. Hold Sirha, beare you these Letters tightly, Saile like my Pinnasse to these golden shores. Rogues, hence,…

Pist. Let Vultures gripe thy guts: for gourd, and Fullam holds: & high and low beguiles the rich…

Ni. I haue opperations, Which be humors of reuenge.

Pist. Wilt thou reuenge?

Ni. By Welkin, and her Star.

Pist. With wit, or Steele?

Ni. With both the humors, I: I will discusse the humour of this Loue to Ford.

Pist. And I to Page shall eke vnfold How Falstaffe (varlet vile) His Doue will proue; his gold…

Ni. My humour shall not coole: I will incense Ford to deale with poyson: I will possesse him…

Pist. Thou art the Mars of Malecontents: I second thee: troope on.

Exeunt.

Scœna Quarta.

Enter Mistris Quickly, Simple, Iohn Rugby, Doctor, Caius, Fenton.

Qu. What, Iohn Rugby, I pray thee goe to the Case­ ment, and see if you can see…

Ru. Ile goe watch.

Qu. Goe, and we'll haue a posset for't soone at night, (in faith) at the latter end of…

Si. I: for fault of a better.

Qu. And Master Slender's your Master?

Si. I forsooth.

Qu. Do's he not weare a great round Beard, like a Glouers pairing‑knife?

Si. No forsooth: he hath but a little weeߛface; with a little yellow Beard: a Caine colourd Beard.

Qu. A softly‑sprighted man, is he not?

Si. I forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is betweene this…

Qu. How say you: oh, I should remember him: do's he not hold vp his head (as it…

Si. Yes indeede do's he.

Qu. Well, heauen send Anne Page, no worse fortune: Tell Master Parson Euans, I will doe what I…

Ru. Out alas: here comes my Master.

Qu. We shall all be shent: Run in here, good young man: goe into this Closset: he will…

Ca. Vat is you sing? I doe not like des‑toyes: pray you goe and vetch me in my…

Qu. I forsooth ile fetch it you: I am glad hee went not in himselfe: if he had…

Ca. Fe, fe, fe, fe, mai foy, il fait for ehando, Ie man voi a le Court la…

Qu. Is it this Sir?

Ca. Ouy mette le au mon pocket, de‑peech quickly: Vere is dat knaue Rugby?

Qu. What Iohn Rugby, Iohn?

Ru. Here Sir.

Ca. You are Iohn Rugby, and you are Iacke Rugby: Come, take‑a‑your Rapier, and come after my heele…

Ru. 'Tis ready Sir, here in the Porch.

Ca. By my trot: I tarry too long: od's‑me: que ay ie oublie: dere is some Simples in…

Qu. Ay‑me, he'll finde the yong man there, & be mad.

Ca. O Diable, Diable: vat is in my Closset? Villanie, La‑roone: Rugby, my Rapier.

Qu. Good Master be content.

Ca. Wherefore shall I be content‑a?

Qu. The yong man is an honest man.

Ca. What shall de honest man do in my Closset: dere is no honest man dat shall come…

Qu. I beseech you be not so flegmaticke: heare the truth of it. He came of an errand…

Ca. Vell.

Si. I forsooth: to desire her to—

Qu. Peace, I pray you.

Ca. Peace‑a‑your tongue: speake‑a‑your Tale.

Si. To desire this honest Gentlewoman (your Maid) to speake a good word to Mistris Anne Page, for…

Qu. This is all indeed‑la: but ile nere put my finger in the fire, and neede not.

Ca. Sir Hugh send‑a you? Rugby, ballow mee some paper: tarry you a littell‑a‑while.

Qui. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had bin through­ ly moued, you should haue…

Simp. 'Tis a great charge to come vnder one bodies hand.

Qui. Are you a‑uis'd o'that? you shall finde it a great charge: and to be vp early, and…

Caius. You, Iack'Nape: giue‑'a this Letter to Sir Hugh, by gar it is a shallenge: I will cut…

Qui. Alas: he speakes but for his friend.

Caius. It is no matter 'a ver dat: do not you tell‑a‑me dat I shall haue Anne Page…

Qui. Sir, the maid loues you, and all shall bee well: We must giue folkes leaue to prate:…

Caius. Rugby, come to the Court with me: by gar, if I haue not Anne Page, I shall…

Qui. You shall haue An‑fooles head of your owne: No, I know Ans mind for that: neuer a…

Fenton. Who's with in there, hoa?

Qui. Who's there, I troa? Come neere the house I pray you.

Fen. How now (good woman) how dost thou?

Qui. The better that it pleases your good Worship to aske?

Fen. What newes? how do's pretty Mistris Anne?

Qui. In truth Sir, and shee is pretty, and honest, and gentle, and one that is your friend,…

Fen. Shall I doe any good thinkst thou? shall I not loose my suit?

Qui. Troth Sir, all is in his hands aboue: but not­ withstanding (Master Fenton) Ile be sworne on…

Fen. Yes marry haue I, what of that?

Qui. Wel, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such another Nan; (but (I detest) an honest…

Fen. Well: I shall see her to day: hold, there's mo­ ney for thee: Let mee haue thy…

Qui. Will I? I faith that wee will: And I will tell your Worship more of the Wart,…

Fen. Well, fare‑well, I am in great haste now.

Qui. Fare‑well to your Worship: truely an honest Gentleman: but Anne loues hiim not: for I know Ans…

Exit.

Actus Secundus. Scœna Prima.

Enter Mistris Page, Mistris Ford, Master Page, Master Ford, Pistoll, Nim, Quickly, Host, Shallow.

Mist.Page. What, haue scap'd Loue‑letters in the holly‑day‑time of my beauty, and am I now a subiect for…

Mis.Ford. Mistris Page, trust me, I was going to your house.

Mis.Page. And trust me, I was comming to you: you looke very ill.

Mis.Ford. Nay Ile nere beleeee that; I haue to shew to the contrary.

Mis.Page. 'Faith but you doe in my minde.

Mis.Ford. Well: I doe then: yet I say, I could shew you to the contrary: O Mistris Page,…

Mis.Page. What's the matter, woman?

Mi.Ford. O woman: if it were not for one trifling re­ spect,I could come to such honour.

Mi.Page. Hang the trifle (woman) take the honour: what is it? dispence with trifles: what is it?

Mi.Ford. If I would but goe to hell, for an eternall moment, or so: I could be knighted.

Mi.Page. What thou liest? Sir Alice Ford? these Knights will hacke, and so thou shouldst not alter the…

Mi.Ford. Wee burne day‑light: heere, read, read: perceiue how I might bee knighted, I shall thinke the worse…

Mis.Page. Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs: to thy great comfort in…

Mis.Ford. Why this is the very same: the very hand: the very words: what doth he thinke of…

Mis.Page. Nay I know not: it makes me almost rea­ die to wrangle with mine owne honesty: Ile…

Mi.Ford. Boording, call you it? Ile bee sure to keepe him aboue decke.

Mi.Page. So will I: if hee come vnder my hatches, Ile neuer to Sea againe: Let's bee reueng'd…

Mi.Ford. Nay, I wil consent to act any villany against him, that may not sully the charinesse of…

Mis.Page. Why look where he comes; and my good man too: hee's as farre from iealousie, as I…

Mis.Ford. You are the happier woman.

Mis.Page. Let's consult together against this greasie Knight: Come hither.

Ford. Well: I hope, it be not so.

Pist. Hope is a curtall‑dog in some affaires: Sir Iohn affects thy wife.

Ford. Why sir, my wife is not young.

Pist. He wooes both high and low, both rich & poor, both yong and old, one with another…

Ford. Loue my wife?

Pist. With liuer, burning hot: preuent: Or goe thou like Sir Acteon he, with Ring‑wood at thy heeles:…

Ford. What name Sir?

Pist. The horne I say: Farewell: Take heed, haue open eye, for theeues doe foot by night. Take…

Ford. I will be patient: I will find out this.

Nim. And this is true: I like not the humor of lying: hee hath wronged mee in some…

Page. The humour of it (quoth'a?) heere's a fellow frights English out of his wits.

Ford. I will seeke out Falstaffe.

Page. I neuer heard such a drawling‑affecting rogue.

Ford. If I doe finde it: well.

Page. I will not beleeue such a Cataian, though the Priest o' th' Towne commended him for a…

Ford. 'Twas a good sensible fellow: well.

Page. How now Meg?

Mist.Page. Whether goe you (George?) harke you.

Mis.Ford. How now (sweet Frank) why art thou me­ lancholy?

Ford. I melancholy? I am not melancholy: Get you home: goe.

Mis.Ford. Faith, thou hast some crochets in thy head, Now: will you goe, Mistris Page?

Mis.Page. Haue with you: you'll come to dinner George? Looke who comes yonder: shee shall bee our Messenger…

Mis.Ford. Trust me, I thought on her: shee'll fit it.

Mis.Page. You are come to see my daughter Anne?

Qui. I forsooth: and I pray how do's good Mistresse Anne?

Mis.Page. Go in with vs and see: we haue an houres talke with you.

Page. How now Master Ford?

For. You heard what this knaue told me, did you not?

Page. Yes, and you heard what the other told me?

Ford. Doe you thinke there is truth in them?

Pag. Hang 'em slaues: I doe not thinke the Knight would offer it: But these that accuse him…

Ford. Were they his men?

Page. Marry were they.

Ford. I like it neuer the beter for that, Do's he lye at the Garter?

Page. I marry do's he: if hee should intend this voy­ age toward my wife, I would turne…

Ford. I doe not misdoubt my wife: but I would bee loath to turne them together: a man…

Page. Looke where my ranting‑Host of the Garter comes: there is eyther liquor in his pate, or mony…

Host. How now Bully‑Rooke: thou'rt a Gentleman Caueleiro Iustice, I say.

Shal. I follow, (mine Host) I follow: Good‑euen, and twenty (good Master Page.) Master Page, wil you go…

Host. Tell him Caueleiro‑Iustice: tell him Bully‑ Rooke.

Shall. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, betweene Sir Hugh the Welch Priest, and Caius the…

Ford. Good mine Host o'th' Garter: a word with you.

Host. What saist thou, my Bully‑Rooke?

Shal. Will you goe with vs to behold it? My merry Host hath had the measuring of their…

Host. Hast thou no suit against my Knight? my guest‑ Caualeire?

Shal. None, I protest: but Ile giue you a pottle of burn'd sacke, to giue me recourse to…

Host. My hand, (Bully:) thou shalt haue egresse and regresse, (said I well?) and thy name shall be…

Shal. Haue with you mine Host.

Page. I haue heard the Frenchߛman hath good skill in his Rapier.

Shal. Tut sir: I could haue told you more: In these times you stand on distance: your Passes,…

Host. Heere boyes, heere, heere: shall we wag?

Page. Haue with you: I had rather heare them scold, then fight.

Ford. Though Page be a secure foole, and stands so firmely on his wiues frailty; yet, I cannot…

Exeunt.

Scœna Secunda

Enter Falstaffe, Pistoll, Robin, Quickly, Bardolffe, Ford.

Fal. I will not lend thee a penny.

Pist. Why then the world's mine Oyster, which I, with sword will open.

Fal. Not a penny: I haue beene content (Sir,) you should lay my countenance to pawne: I haue…

Pist. Didst not thou share? hadst thou not fifteene pence?

Fal. Reason, you roague, reason: thinkst thou Ile en­ danger my soule, gratis? at a word, hang no…

Pist. I doe relent: what would thou more of man?

Robin. Sir, here's a woman would speake with you.

Fal. Let her approach.

Qui. Giue your worship good morrow.

Fal. Good‑morrow, good‑wife.

Qui. Not so, and't please your worship.

Fal. Good maid then.

Qui. Ile be sworne, As my mother was the first houre I was borne.

Fal. I doe beleeue the swearer; what with me?

Qui. Shall I vouch‑safe your worship a word, or two?

Fal. Two thousand (faire woman) and ile vouchsafe thee the hearing.

Qui. There is one Mistresse Ford, (Sir) I pray come a little neerer this waies: I my selfe…

Fal. Well, on; Mistresse Ford, you say.

Qui. Your worship saies very true: I pray your wor­ ship come a little neerer this waies.

Fal. I warrant thee, no‑bodie heares: mine owne people, mine owne people

Qui. Are they so? heauen‑blesse them, and make them his Seruants.

Fal. Well; Mistresse Ford, what of her?

Qui. Why, Sir; shee's a good‑creature; Lord, Lord, your Worship's a wanton: well: heauen forgiue you, and all…

Fal. Mistresse Ford: come, Mistresse Ford.

Qui. Marry this is the short, and the long of it: you haue brought her into such a…

Fal. But what saies shee to mee? be briefe my good shee‑Mercurie.

Qui. Marry, she hath receiu'd your Letter: for the which she thankes you a thousand times; and she…

Fal. Ten, and eleuen.

Qui. I, forsooth: and then you may come and see the picture (she sayes) that you wot of:…

Fal. Ten, and eleuen. Woman, commend me to her, I will not faile her.

Qui. Why, you say well: But I haue another messen­ ger to your worship: Mistresse Page hath her…

Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I haue no other…

Qui. Blessing on your heart for't.

Fal. But I pray thee tell me this: has Fords wife, and Pages wife acquainted each other, how…

Qui. That were a iest indeed: they haue not so little grace I hope, that were a tricke…

Fal. Why, I will.

Qu. Nay, but doe so then, and looke you, hee may come and goe betweene you both: and…

Fal. Farethee‑well, commend mee to them both: there's my purse, I am yet thy debter: Boy, goe along…

Pist. This Puncke is one of Cupids Carriers, Clap on more sailes, pursue: vp with your fights: Giue…

Fal. Saist thou so (old Iacke) go thy waies: Ile make more of thy olde body then I…

Bar. Sir Iohn, there's one Master Broome below would faine speake with you, and be acquainted with you;…

Fal. Broome is his name?

Bar. I Sir.

Fal. Call him in: such Broomes are welcome to mee, that ore'flowes such liquor: ah ha, Mistresse Ford…

Ford. 'Blesse you sir.

Fal. And you sir: would you speake with me?

Ford. I make bold, to presse, with so little prepara­ tion vpon you.

Fal. You'r welcome, what's your will? giue vs leaue Drawer.

Ford. Sir, I am a Gentleman that haue spent much, my name is Broome.

Fal. Good Master Broome, I desire more acquaintance of you.

Ford. Good Sir Iohn, I sue for yours: not to charge you, for I must let you vnderstand,…

Fal. Money is a good Souldier (Sir) and will on.

Ford. Troth, and I haue a bag of money heere trou­ bles me: if you will helpe to…

Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserue to bee your Porter.

Ford. I will tell you sir, if you will giue mee the hea­ ring.

Fal. Speake (good Master Broome) I shall be glad to be your Seruant.

Ford. Sir, I heare you are a Scholler: (I will be briefe with you) and you haue been…

Fal. Very well Sir, proceed.

Ford. There is a Gentlewoman in this Towne, her husbands name is Ford.

Fal. Well Sir.

Ford. I haue long lou'd her, and I protest to you, be­ stowed much on her: followed her…

Fal. Haue you receiu'd no promise of satisfaction at her hands?

Ford. Neuer.

Fal. Haue you importun'd her to such a purpose?

Ford. Neuer.

Fal. Of what qualitie was your loue then?

Ford. Like a fair house, built on another mans ground, so that I haue lost my edifice, by…

Fal. To what purpose haue you vnfolded this to me?

For. When I haue told you that, I haue told you all: Some say, that though she appeare…

Fal. O Sir.

Ford. Beleeue it, for you know it: there is money, spend it, spend it, spend more; spend all…

Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection that I should win what you would…

Ford. O, vnderstand my drift: she dwells so securely on the excellency of her honor, that the folly…

Fal. Master Broome, I will first make bold with your money: next, giue mee your hand: and last,…

Ford. O good Sir.

Fal. I say you shall.

Ford. Want no money (Sir Iohn) you shall want none.

Fal. Want no Mistresse Ford (Master Broome) you shall want none: I shall be with her (I may…

Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance: do you know Ford Sir?

Fal. Hang him (poore Cuckoldly knaue) I know him not: yet I wrong him to call him poore:…

Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might a­ uoid him, if you saw him.

Fal. Hang him, mechanicall‑salt‑butter rogue; I wil stare him out of his wits: I will awe‑him with my…

Ford. What a damn'd EpicurianߛRascall is this? my heart is ready to cracke with impatience: who saies this…

Exti.

Scena Tertia.

Enter Caius, Rugby, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host.

Caius. Iacke Rugby.

Rug. Sir.

Caius. Vat is the clocke, Iack.

Rug. 'Tis past the howre (Sir) that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet.

Cai. By gar, he has saue his soule, dat he is no‑come: hee has pray his Pible well,…

Rug. Hee is wise Sir: hee knew your worship would kill him if he came.

Cai. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill him: take your Rapier, (Iacke)…

Rug. Alas sir, I cannot fence.

Cai. Villaine, take your Rapier.

Rug. Forbeare: heer's company.

Host. 'Blesse thee, bullyߛDoctor.

Shal. 'Saue you Mr. Doctor Caius.

Page. Now good Mr. Doctor.

Slen. 'Giue you goodߛmorrow, sir.

Caius. Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for?

Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foigne, to see thee trauerse, to see thee heere, to…

Cai. By gar, he is de Coward‑Iack‑Priest of de vorld: he is not show his face.

Host. Thou art a Castalion‑king‑Vrinall: Hector of Greece (my Boy)

Cai. I pray you beare witnesse, that me haue stay, sixe or seuen, two tree howres for him,…

Shal. He is the wiser man (M.Docto) rhe is a curer of soules, and you a curer of…

Page. Master Shallow; you haue your selfe beene a great fighter, though now a man of peace.

Shal. Body‑kins M. Page, though I now be old, and of the peace; if I see a sword…

Page. 'Tis true, Mr. Shallow.

Shal. It wil be found so, (M. Page:) M. Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home:…

Host. Pardon, Guest‑Iustice; a Mounseur Mocke­ water

Cai. Mock‑vater? vat is dat?

Host. Mock‑water, in our English tongue, is Valour (Bully.)

Cai. By gar, then I haue as much Mock‑vater as de Englishman: scuruy‑Iack‑dog‑Priest: by gar, mee vill cut…

Host. He will Clapper‑claw thee tightly (Bully.)

Cai. Clapper‑de‑claw? vat is dat?

Host. That is, he will make thee amends.

Cai. By‐gar, me doe looke hee shall clapper‐de‐claw me, for by‐gar, me vill haue it.

Host. And I will prouoke him to't, or let him wag.

Cai. Me tanck you for dat.

Host. And moreouer, (Bully) but first, Mr. Ghuest, and M. Page, & eeke Caualeiro Slender, goe you through…

Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?

Host. He is there, see what humor he is in: and I will bring the Doctor about by…

Shal. We will doe it.

All. Adieu, good M. Doctor.

Cai. By‑gar, me vill kill de Priest, for he speake for a Iack‑an‑Ape to Anne Page.

Host. Let him die: sheath thy impatience: throw cold water on thy Choller: goe about the fields with…

Cai. By‑gar, mee dancke you vor dat: by gar I loue you: and I shall procure 'a you…

Host. For the which, I will be thy aduersary toward Anne Page: said I well?

Cai. By‑gar, 'tis good: vell said.

Host. Let vs wag then.

Cai. Come at my heeles, Iack Rugby.

Exeunt.

Actus Tertius. Scœna Prima.

Enter Euans, Simple, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Caius, Rugby.

Euans. I pray you now, good Master Slenders seruing­ man, and friend Simple by your name; which way…

Sim. Marry Sir, the pittie‑ward, the Parke‑ward: euery way: olde Windsor way, and euery way but the Towne‑way.

Euan. I most‑fehemently desire you, you will also looke that way.

Sim. I will sir.

Euan. 'Plesse my soule: how full of Chollors I am, and trempling of minde: I shall be glad…

Sim. Yonder he is comming, this way, Sir Hugh.

Euan. Hee's welcome: To shallow Riuers, to whose fals: Heauen prosper the right: what weapons is he?

Sim. No weapons, Sir: there comes my Master, Mr. Shallow, and another Gentleman; from Frogmore, ouer the stile,…

Euan. Pray you giue mee my gowne, or else keepe it in your armes.

Shal. How now Master Parson? good morrow good Sir Hugh: keepe a Gamester from the dice, and a…

Slen. Ah sweet Anne Page.

Page. 'Saue you, good Sir Hugh.

Euan. 'Plesse you from his mercy‑sake, all of you.

Shal. What? the Sword, and the Word? Doe you study them both, Mr. Parson?

Page. And youthfull still, in your doublet and hose, this raw‑rumaticke day?

Euan. There is reasons, and causes for it.

Page. We are come to you, to doe a good office, Mr. Parson.

Euan. Fery‑well: what is it?

Page. Yonder is a most reuerend Gentleman; who (be‑like) hauing receiued wrong by some person, is at most…

Shal. I haue liued foure‑score yeeres, and vpward: I neuer heard a man of his place, grauity, and…

Euan. What is he?

Page. I thinke you know him: Mr. Doctor Caius the renowned French Physician.

Euan. Got's‑will, and his passion of my heart: I had as lief you would tell me of a…

Page. Why?

Euan. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen, and hee is a knaue besides: a cowardly…

Page. I warrant you, hee's the man should fight with him.

Slen. O sweet Anne Page.

Shal. It appeares so by his weapons: keepe them a­ sunder: here comes Doctor Caius.

Page. Nay good Mr. Parson, keepe in your weapon.

Shal. So doe you, good Mr. Doctor.

Host. Disarme them, and let them question: let them keepe their limbs whole, and hack our English.

Cai. I pray you let‑a‑mee speake a word with your eare; vherefore vill you not meet‑a me?

Euan. Pray you vse your patience in good time.

Cai. By‑gar, you are de Coward: de Iack dog: Iohn Ape.

Euan. Pray you let vs not be laughing‑stocks to other mens humors: I desire you in friendship, and…

Cai. Diable: Iack Rugby: mine Host de Iarteer: haue I not stay for him, to kill him? haue…

Euan. As I am a Christians‑soule, now looke you: this is the place appointed, Ile bee iudgement by…

Host. Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaule, French & Welch, Soule‑Curer, and Body‑Curer.

Cai. I, dat is very good, excellant.

Host. Peace, I say: heare mine Host of the Garter, Am I politicke? Am I subtle? Am I…

Shal. Trust me, a mad Host: follow Gentlemen, fol­ low.

Slen. O sweet Anne Page.

Cai. Ha' do I perceiue dat? Haue you make‑a‑de‑sot of vs, ha, ha?

Eua. This is well, he has made vs his vlowting‑stog: I desire you that we may be friends:…

Cai. By gar, with all my heart: he promise to bring me where is Anne Page: by gar…

Euan. Well, I will smite his noddles: pray you follow.

Scena Secunda.

Mist. Page, Robin, Ford, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Euans, Caius.

Mist.Page. Nay keepe your way (little Gallant) you were wont to be a follower, but now you are…

Rob. I had rather (forsooth) go before you like a man, then follow him like a dwarfe.

M. Pa. O you are a flattering boy, now I see you'l be a (Courtier.

Ford. Well met mistris Page, whether go you.

M. Pa. Truly Sir, to see your wife, is she at home?

Ford. I, and as idle she may hang together for want of company: I think if your husbands…

M.Pa. Be sure of that, two other husbands.

Ford. Where had your this pretty weather‑cocke?

M.Pa. I cannot tell what (the dickens) his name is my husband had him of, what do you…

Rob. Sir Iohn Falstaffe.

Ford. Sir Iohn Falstaffe.

M. Pa. He, he I can neuer hit on's name: there is such a league between my goodman,…

Ford. Indeed she is.

M.Pa. By your leaue sir, I am sicke till I see her.

Ford. Has Page any braines? Hath he any eies? Hath he any thinking? Sure they sleepe, he hath…

Shal. Page &c. Well met Mr Ford.

Ford. Trust me a good knotte; I haue good cheere at home, and I pray you all go…

Shal. I must excuse my selfe Mr. Ford.

Slen. And so must I Sir, We haue appointed to dine with Mistris Anne, And I would not…

Shal. We haue linger'd about a match betweene An Page, and my cozen Slender, and this day wee…

Slen. I hope I haue your good will Father Page.

Pag. You haue Mr Slender, I stand wholly for you, But my wife (Mr Doctor) is for you…

Cai. I be‑gar, and de Maid is loue‑a‑me: my nursh‑ a‑Quickly tell me so mush.

Host. What say you to yong Mr Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has eies of youth: he…

Page. Not by my consent I promise you. The Gentle­ man is of no hauing, hee kept companie…

Ford. I beseech you heartily, some of you goe home with me to dinner: besides your cheere you…

Shal. Well, fare you well: We shall haue the freer woing at Mr Pages.

Cai. Go home Iohn Rugby, I come anon.

Host. Farewell my hearts, I will to my honest Knight Falstaffe, and drinke Canarie with him.

Ford. I thinke I shall drinke in Pipe‑wine first with him, Ile make him dance. Will you go…

All. Haue with you, to see this Monster.

Exeunt.

Scena Tertia.

Enter M.Ford, M.Page, Seruants, Robin, Falstaffe, Ford, Page, Caius, Euans.

Mist.Ford. What Iohn, what Robert.

M.Page. Quickly, quickly: Is the Buck‑basket—

Mis.Ford. I warrant. What Robin I say.

Mis.Page. Come, come, come.

Mist.Ford. Heere, set it downe.

M.Pag. Giue your men the charge, we must be briefe.

M.Ford. Marrie, as I told you before (Iohn & Robert) be ready here hard‑by in the Brew‑house, &…

M.Page. You will do it?

M.Ford. I ha told them ouer and ouer, they lacke no (direction. Be gone, and come when you…

M.Page. Here comes little Robin.

Mist.Ford. How now my Eyas‑Musket, what newes (with you?

Rob. My M. Sir Iohn is come in at your backe doore (Mist. Ford, and requests your company.

M.Page. You litle Iack‑a‑lent, haue you bin true to vs

Rob. I, Ile be sworne: my Master knowes not of your being heere: and hath threatned to put…

Mist.Pag. Thou'rt a good boy: this secrecy of thine shall be a Tailor to thee, and shal make…

Mi.Ford. Do so: go tell thy Master, I am alone: Mi­ stris Page, remember you your Qu.

Mist.Pag. I warrant thee, if I do not act it, hisse me.

Mist.Ford. Go‑too then: we'l vse this vnwholsome humidity, this grosse‑watry Pumpion; we'll teach him to know Turtles from…

Fal. Haue I caught thee, my heauenly Iewell? Why now let me die, for I haue liu'd long…

Mist.Ford. O sweet Sir Iohn.

Fal. Mistris Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate (Mist. Ford) now shall I sin in my wish;…

Mist.Ford. I your Lady Sir Iohn? Alas, I should bee a pittifull Lady.

Fal. Let the Court of France shew me such another: I see how thine eye would emulate the…

Mist.Ford. A plaine Kerchiefe, Sir Iohn: My browes become nothing else, nor that well neither.

Fal. Thou art a tyrant to say so: thou wouldst make an absolute Courtier, and the firme fixture…

Mist.Ford. Beleeue me, ther's no such thing in me.

Fal. What made me loue thee? Let that perswade thee. Ther's something extraordinary in thee: Come, I cannot…

M.Ford. Do not betray me sir, I fear you loue M Page.

Fal. Thou mightst as well say, I loue to walke by the Counter‑gate, which is as hatefull to…

Mis.Ford. Well, heauen knowes how I loue you, And you shall one day finde it.

Fal. Keepe in that minde, Ile deserue it.

Mist.Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you doe; Or else I could not be in that minde.

Rob. Mistris Ford, Mistris Ford: heere's Mistris Page at the doore, sweating, and blowing, and looking wildely, and…

Fal. She shall not see me, I will ensconce mee behind the Arras.

M.Ford. Pray you do so, she's a very tatling woman. Whats the matter? How now?

Mist.Page. O mistris Ford what haue you done? You'r sham'd, y'are ouerthrowne, y'are vndone for euer.

M.Ford. What's the matter, good mistris Page?

M.Page. O weladay, mist. Ford, hauing an honest man to your husband, to giue him such cause of…

M.Ford. What cause of suspition?

M.Page. What cause of suspition? Out vpon you: How am I mistooke in you?

M.Ford. Why (alas) what's the matter?.

M.Page. Your husband's comming hether (Woman) with all the Officers in Windsor, to search for a Gentle­ man,…

M.Ford. 'Tis □ot so, I hope.

M.Page. Pray heauen it be not so, that you haue such a man heere: but 'tis most certaine…

M.Ford. What shall I do? There is a Gentleman my deere friend: and I feare not mine owne…

M.Page. For shame, neuer stand (you had rather, and you had rather:) your husband's heere at hand, bethinke…

M.Ford. He's too big to go in there: what shall I do?

Fal. Let me see't, let me see't, O let me see't: Ile in, Ile in: Follow your friends…

M.Page. What Sir Iohn Falstaffe? Are these your Let­ ters, Knight?

Fal. I loue thee, helpe mee away: let me creepe in heere: ile neuer⸺

M.Page. Helpe to couer your master (Boy:) Call your men (Mist. Ford.) You dissembling Knight.

M.Ford. What Iohn, Robert, Iohn; Go, take vp these cloathes heere, quickly: Wher's the Cowle‑staffe? Look how you…

Ford. 'Pray you come nere: if I suspect without cause, Why then make sport at me, then let…

Ser. To the Landresse forsooth?

M.Ford. Why, what haue you to doe whether they beare it? You were best meddle with buck‑washing.

Ford. Buck? I would I could wash my selfe of yͤ Buck: Bucke, bucke, bucke, I bucke: I…

Page. Good master Ford, be contented: You wrong your selfe too much.

Ford. True (master Page) vp Gentlemen, You shall see sport anon: Follow me Gentlemen.

Euans. This is fery fantasticall humors and iealousies.

Caius. By gar, 'tis no‑the fashion of France: It is not iealous in France.

Page. Nay follow him (Gentlemen) see the yssue of his search.

Mist.Page Is there not a double excellency in this?

Mist.Ford. I know not which pleases me better, That my husband is deceiued, or Sir Iohn.

Mist.Page. What a taking was hee in, when your husband askt who was in the basket?

Mist.Ford. I am halfe affraid he will haue neede of washing: so throwing him into the water, will…

Mist.Page. Hang him dishonest rascall: I would all of the same straine, were in the same distresse.

Mist.Ford. I thinke my husband hath some speciall suspition of Falstaffs being heere: for I neuer saw him…

Mist.Page. I will lay a plot to try that, and wee will yet haue more trickes with Falstaffe:…

Mis.Ford. Shall we send that foolishion Carion, Mist. Quickly to him, and excuse his throwing into the water,…

Mist.Page. We will do it: let him be sent for to mor­ row eight a clocke to haue…

Ford. I cannot finde him: may be the knaue bragg'd of that he could not compasse.

Mis.Page. Heard you that?

Mis.Ford. You vse me well, M. Ford? Do you?

Ford. I, I do so.

M.Ford. Heauen make you better then your thoghts

Ford. Amen.

Mi.Page. You do your selfe mighty wrong (M. Ford)

Ford. I, I: I must beare it.

Eu. If there be any pody in the house, & in the cham­ bers, and in the coffers,…

Caius. Be gar, nor I too: there is no‑bodies.

Page. Fy, fy, M. Ford, are you not asham'd? What spi­ rit, what diuell suggests this imagination? I…

Ford. 'Tis my fault (M. Page) I suffer for it.

Euans. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as honest a o'mans, as I will desires…

Cai. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman.

Ford. Well, I promisd you a dinner: come, come, walk in the Parke, I pray you pardon me:…

Page. Let's go in Gentlemen, but (trust me) we'l mock him: I doe inuite you to morrow morning…

Ford. Any thing.

Eu. If there is one, I shall make two in the Companie

Ca. If there be one, or two, I shall make‑a‑theturd.

Ford. Pray you go, M. Page.

Eua. I pray you now remembrance to morrow on the lowsie knaue, mine Host.

Cai. Dat is good by gar, withall my heart.

Eua. A lowsie knaue, to haue his gibes, and his moc­ keries.

Exeunt.

Scœna Quarta.

Enter Fenton, Anne, Page, Shallow, Slender, Quickly, Page, Mist.Page.

Fen. I see I cannot get thy Fathers loue, Therefore no more turne me to him (sweet Nan.)

Anne. Alas, how then?

Fen. Why thou must be thy selfe. He doth obiect, I am too great of birth, And that…

An. May be he tels you true. No, heauen so speed me in my time to come, Albeit…

An. Gentle M. Fenton, Yet seeke my Fathers loue, still seeke it sir, If opportunity and humblest suite…

Shal. Breake their talke Mistris Quickly, My Kinsman shall speake for himselfe.

Slen. Ile make a shaft or a bolt on't, slid, tis but ventu (ring.

Shal. Be not dismaid.

Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, but that I am affeard.

Qui. Hark ye, M. Slender would speak a word with you

An. I come to him. This is my Fathers choice: O what a world of vilde ill‑fauour'd faults…

Qui. And how do's good Master Fenton? Pray you a word with you.

Shal. Shee's comming; to her Coz: O boy, thou hadst a father.

Slen. I had a father (M. An) my vncle can tel you good iests of him: pray you…

Shal. Mistris Anne, my Cozen loues you.

Slen. I that I do, as well as I loue any woman in Glo­ cestershire.

Shal. He will maintaine you like a Gentlewoman.

Slen. I that I will, come cut and long‑taile, vnder the degree of a Squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fiftie pounds ioynture.

Anne. Good Maister Shallow let him woo for him­ selfe.

Shal. Marrie I thanke you for it: I thanke you for that good comfort: she cals you (Coz)…

Anne. Now Master Slender.

Slen. Now good Mistris Anne.

Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My will? Odd's‑hart‑lings, that's a prettie iest indeede: I ne're made my Will yet (I thanke Hea­…

Anne. I meane (M. Slender) what wold you with me?

Slen. Truely, for mine owne part, I would little or nothing with you: your father and my vncle…

Page. Now Mr Slender; Loue him daughter Anne. Why how now? What does Mr Fenter here? You wrong…

Fen. Nay Mr Page, be not impatient.

Mist.Page. Good M. Fenton, come not to my child.

Page. She is no match for you.

Fen. Sir, will you heare me?

Page. No, good M. Fenton. Come M. Shallow: Come sonne Slender, in; Knowing my minde, you wrong me…

Qui. Speake to Mistris Page.

Fen. Good Mist. Page, for that I loue your daughter In such a righteous fashion as I do,…

An. Good mother, do not marry me to yond foole.

Mist.Page. I meane it not, I seeke you a better hus­ band.

Qui. That's my master, M. Doctor.

An. Alas I had rather be set quick i'th earth, And bowl'd to death with Turnips.

Mist.Page. Come, trouble not your selfe good M. Fenton, I will not be your friend, nor enemy: My…

Fen. Farewell gentle Mistris: farewell Nan.

Qui. This is my doing now: Nay, saide I, will you cast away your childe on a Foole,…

Fen. I thanke thee: and I pray thee once to night, Giue my sweet Nan this Ring: there's…

Qui. Now heauen send thee good fortune, a kinde heart he hath: a woman would run through fire…

Exeunt

Scena Quinta.

Enter Falstaffe, Bardolfe, Quickly, Ford.

Fal. Bardolfe I say.

Bar. Heere Sir.

Fal. Go, fetch me a quart of Sacke, put a tost in't. Haue I liu'd to be carried…

Bar. Here's M. Quickly Sir to speake with you.

Fal. Come, let me poure in some Sack to the Thames water: for my bellies as cold as…

Bar. Come in woman.

Qui. By your leaue: I cry you mercy? Giue your worship good morrow.

Fal. Take away these Challices: Go, brew me a pottle of Sacke finely.

Bard. With Egges, Sir?

Fal. Simple of it selfe: Ile no PulletߛSpersme in my brewage. How now?

Qui. Marry Sir, I come to your worship from M. Ford.

Fal. Mist. Ford? I haue had Ford enough: I was thrown into the Ford; I haue my belly…

Qui. Alas the day, (good‑heart) that was not her fault: she do's so take on with her men;…

Fal. So did I mine, to build vpon a foolish Womans (promise.

Qui. Well, she laments Sir for it, that it would yern your heart to see it: her husband…

Fal. Well, I will visit her, tell her so: and bidde her thinke what a man is: Let…

Qui. I will tell her.

Fal. Do so. Betweene nine and ten saist thou?

Qui. Eight and nine Sir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not misse her.

Qui. Peace be with you Sir.

Fal. I meruaile I heare not of Mr Broome: he sent me word to stay within: I like…

Ford. Blesse you Sir.

Fal. Now M. Broome, you come to know What hath past betweene me, and Fords wife.

Ford. That indeed (Sir Iohn) is my businesse.

Fal. M. Broome I will not lye to you, I was at her house the houre she appointed…

Ford. And sped you Sir?

Fal. very ill‑fauouredly M. Broome.

Ford. How so sir, did she change her determination?

Fal. No (M. Broome) but the peaking Curnuto her hus­ band (M. Broome) dwelling in a continual larum…

Ford. What? While you were there?

Fal. While I was there.

For. And did he search for you, & could not find you?

Fal. You shall heare. As good lucke would haue it, comes in one Mist. Page, giues intelligence of…

Ford. A Buck‑basket?

Fal. Yes: a Buck‑basket: ram'd mee in with foule Shirts and Smockes, Socks, foule Stockings, greasie Napkins, that…

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall heare (Master Broome) what I hau□ sufferd, to bring this woman to euill, for…

Ford. In good sadnesse Sir, I am sorry, that for my sake you haue sufferd all this. My…

Fal. Master Broome: I will be throwne into Etna, as I haue beene into Thames, ere I will…

Ford. 'Tis past eight already Sir.

Fal. Is it? I will then addresse mee to my appoint­ ment: Come to mee at your conuenient…

Ford. Hum: ha? Is this a vision? Is this a dreame? doe I sleepe? Master Ford awake, awake…

Exeunt.

Actus Quartus. Scœna Prima.

Enter Mistris Page, Quickly, William, Euans.

Mist.Pag. Is he at M. Fords already think'st thou?

Qui. Sure he is by this; or will be presently; but truely he is very couragious mad, about…

Mist.Pag. Ile be with her by and by: Ile but bring my yong‑man here to Schoole: looke where…

Eua. No: Master Slender is let the Boyes leaue to play.

Qui. 'Blessing of his heart.

Mist.Pag. Sir Hugh, my husband saies my sonne pro­ fits nothing in the world at his Booke: I…

Eu. Come hither William; hold vp your head; come.

Mist.Pag. Come‑on Sirha; hold vp your head; an­ swere your Master, be not afraid.

Eua. William, how many Numbers is in Nownes?

Will. Two.

Qui. Truely, I thought there had bin one Number more, because they say od's‑Nownes.

Eua. Peace, your tatlings. What is (Faire) William?

Will. Pulcher.

Qu. Powlcats? there are fairer things then Powlcats, sure.

Eua. You are a very simplicity o'man: I pray you peace. What is (Lapis) William?

Will. A Stone.

Eua. And what is a Stone (William?)

Will. A Peeble.

Eua. No; it is Lapis: I pray you remember in your praine.

Will. Lapis.

Eua. That is a good William: what is he (William) that do's lend Articles.

Will. Articles are borrowed of the Pronoune; and be thus declined. Singulariter nominatiuo hic, hæc, hoc.

Eua. Nominatiuo hig, hag, hog: pray you marke: geni­ tiuo huius: Well: what is your Accusatiue‑case?

Will. Accusatiuo hinc.

Eua. I pray you haue your remembrance (childe) Ac­ cusatiuo hing, hang, hog.

Qu. Hang‑hog, is latten for Bacon, I warrant you.

Eua. Leaue your prables (o'man) What is the Foca­ tiue case (William?)

Will. O, Vocatiuo, O.

Eua. Remember William, Focatiue, is caret,

Qu. And that's a good roote.

Eua. O'man, forbeare.

Mist.Pag. Peace.

Eua. What is your Genitiue case plurall (William?)

Will. Genitiue case?

Eua. I.

Will. Genitiue horum, harum, horum.

Qu. 'Vengeance of Ginyes case; fie on her; neuer name her (childe) if she be a whore.

Eua. For shame o'man.

Qu. You doe ill to teach the childe such words: hee teaches him to hic, and to hac;…

Euans. O'man, art thou Lunaties? Hast thou no vn­ derstandings for thy Cases, & the numbers of the…

Mi.Page. Pre'thee hold thy peace.

Eu. Shew me now (William) some declensions of your Pronounes.

Will. Forsooth, I haue forgot.

Eu. It is Qui, que, quod; if you forget your Quies, your Ques, and your Quods, you must…

M.Pag. He is a better scholler then I thought he was.

Eu. He is a good sprag‑memory: Farewel Mis. Page.

Mis.Page. Adieu good Sir Hugh: Get you home boy, Come we stay too long.

Exeunt.

Scena Secunda.

Enter Falstoffe, Mist.Ford, Mist.Page, Seruants, Ford, Page, Caius, Euans, Shallow.

Fal. Mi. Ford, Your sorrow hath eaten vp my suffe­ rance; I see you are obsequious in your…

Mis.Ford. Hee's a birding (sweet Sir Iohn.)

Mis.Page. What hoa, gossip Ford: what hoa.

Mis.Ford. Step into th'chamber, Sir Iohn.

Mis.Page. How now (sweete heart) whose at home besides your selfe?

Mis.Ford. Why none but mine owne people.

Mis.Page. Indeed?

Mis.Ford. No certainly: Speake louder.

Mist.Pag. Truly, I am so glad you haue no body here.

Mist.Ford. Why?

Mis.Page. Why woman, your husband is in his olde lines againe: he so takes on yonder with my…

Mist.Ford. Why, do's he talke of him?

Mist.Page. Of none but him, and sweares he was ca­ rried out the last time hee search'd for…

Mist.Ford. How neere is he Mistris Page?

Mist.Pag. Hard by, at street end; he wil be here anon.

Mist.Ford. I am vndone, the Knight is heere.

Mist.Page. Why then you are vtterly sham'd, & hee's but a dead man. What a woman are you?…

Mist.Ford. Which way should he go? How should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket…

Fal. No, Ile come no more i'th Basket: May I not go out ere he come?

Mist.Page. Alas: three of Mr. Fords brothers watch the doore with Pistols, that none shall issue out: other­…

Fal. What shall I do? Ile creepe vp into the chimney.

Mist.Ford. There they alwaies vse to discharge their Birding‑peeces: creepe into the Kill‑hole.

Fal. Where is it?

Mist.Ford. He will seeke there on my word: Neyther Presse, Coffer, Chest, Trunke, Well, Vault, but he hath…

Fal. Ile go out then.

Mist.Ford. If you goe out in your owne semblance, you die Sir Iohn, vnlesse you go out disguis'd.

Mist.Ford. How might we disguise him?

Mist.Page. Alas the day I know not, there is no wo­ mans gowne bigge enough for him: otherwise…

Fal. Good hearts, deuise something: any extremitie, rather then a mischiefe.

Mist.Ford. My Maids Aunt the fat woman of Brain­ ford, has a gowne aboue.

Mist.Page. On my word it will serue him: shee's as big as he is: and there's her thrum'd…

Mist.Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir Iohn: Mistriis Page and I will looke some linnen for your head.

Mist.Page. Quicke, quicke, wee'le come dresse you straight: put on the gowne the while.

Mist.Ford. I would my husband would meete him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of…

Mist.Page. Heauen guide him to thy husbands cud­ gell: and the diuell guide his cudgell afterwards.

Mist.Ford. But is my husband comming?

Mist.Page. I in good sadnesse is he, and talkes of the basket too, howsoeuer he hath had intelligence.

Mist.Ford. Wee'l try that: for Ile appoint my men to carry the basket againe, to meete him at…

Mist.Page. Nay, but hee'l be heere presently: let's go dresse him like the witch of Brainford.

Mist.Ford. Ile first direct direct my men, what they shall doe with the basket: Goe vp, Ile bring…

Mist.Page. Hang him dishonest Varlet, We cannot misuse enough: We'll leaue a proofe by that which we will…

Mist.Ford. Go Sirs, take the basket againe on your shoulders: your Master is hard at doore: if hee…

1 Ser. Come, come, take it vp.

2 Ser. Pray heauen it be not full of Knight againe.

1 Ser. I hope not, I had liefe as beare so much lead.

Ford. I, but if it proue true (Mr. Page) haue you any way then to vnfoole me againe.…

Page. Why, this passes M. Ford: you are not to goe loose any longer, you must be pinnion'd.

Euans. Why, this is Lunaticks: this is madde, as a mad dogge.

Shall. Indeed M. Ford, this is not well indeed.

Ford. So say I too Sir, come hither Mistris Ford, Mi­ stris Ford, the honest woman, the modest…

Mist.Ford. Heauen be my witnesse you doe, if you suspect me in any dishonesty.

Ford. Well said Brazon‑face, hold it out: Come forth sirrah.

Page. This passes.

Mist.Ford. Are you not asham'd, let the cloths alone.

Ford. I shall finde you anon.

Eua. 'Tis vnreasonable; will you take vp your wiues cloathes? Come, away.

Ford. Empty the basket I say.

M.Ford. Why man, why?

Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one con­ uay'd out of my house yesterday…

Mist.Ford. If you find a man there, he shall dye a Fleas death.

Page. Heer's no man.

Shal. By my fidelity this is not well Mr. Ford: This wrongs you.

Euans. Mr Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your owne heart: this is iealousies.

Ford. Well, hee's not heere I seeke for.