The Comedie of Errors
William Shakespeare
Original text: Bodleian Libraries · Shakespeare First Folio (1623), Bodleian Library Arch. G c.7; diplomatic TEI transcription
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The Comedie of Errors.
Actus primus, Scena prima.
Enter the Duke of Ephesus, with the Merchant of Siracusa, Iaylor, and other attendants.
Marchant. PRoceed Solinus to procure my fall, And by the doome of death end woes and all.
Duke. Merchant of Siracusa, plead no more. I am not partiall to infringe our Lawes; The enmity and…
Mer. Yet this my comfort, when your words are done, My woes end likewise with the euening Sonne.
Duk. Well Siracusian; say in briefe the cause Why thou departedst from thy natiue home? And for what…
Mer. A heauier taske could not haue beene impos'd, Then I to speake my griefes vnspeakeable: Yet that…
Forst me to seeke delayes for them and me, And this it was: (for other meanes was none)…
Duk. Nay forward old man, doe not breake off so, For we may pitty, though not pardon thee.
Merch. Oh had the gods done so, I had not now Worthily tearm'd them mercilesse to vs: For…
Duke. And for the sake of them thou sorrowest for, Doe me the fauour to dilate at full,…
Merch. My yongest boy, and yet my eldest care, At eighteene yeeres became inquisitiue After his brother; and…
Duke. Haplesse Egeon whom the fates haue markt To beare the extremitie of dire mishap: Now trust me,…
Iaylor. I will my Lord.
Merch. Hopelesse and helpelesse doth Egean wend, But to procrastinate his liuelesse end.
Exeunt.
Enter Antipholis Erotes, a Marchant, and Dromio.
Mer. Therefore giue out you are of Epidamium, Lest that your goods too soone be confiscate: This very…
Ant. Goe beare it to the Centaure, where we host, And stay there Dromio, till I come to…
Dro. Many a man would take you at your word, And goe indeede, hauing so good a meane.
Exit Dromio.
Ant. A trustie villaine sir, that very oft, When I am dull with care and melancholly, Lightens my…
E. Mar. I am inuited sir to certaine Marchants, Of whom I hope to make much benefit: I…
Ant. Farewell till then: I will goe loose my selfe, And wander vp and downe to view the…
E. Mar. Sir, I commend you to your owne content.
Exeunt.
Ant. He that commends me to mine owne content, Commends me to the thing I cannot get: I…
Enter Dromio of Ephesus.
Here comes the almanacke of my true date:
What now? How chance thou art return'd so soone.
E. Dro. Return'd so soone, rather approacht too late: The Capon burnes, the Pig fals from the spit;…
Ant. Stop in your winde sir, tell me this I pray? Where haue you left the mony that…
E. Dro. Oh sixe pence that I had a wensday last, To pay the Sadler for my Mistris…
Ant. I am not in a sportiue humor now: Tell me, and dally not, where is the monie?…
E. Dro. I pray you iest sir as you sit at dinner: I from my Mistris come to…
Ant. Come Dromio, come, these iests are out of season, Reserue them till a merrier houre then this:…
E. Dro. To me sir? why you gaue no gold to me?
Ant. Come on sir knaue, haue done your foolishnes, And tell me how thou hast dispos'd thy charge.
E. Dro. My charge was but to fetch you fró the Mart Home to your house, the Phoenix…
Ant. Now as I am a Christian answer me, In what safe place you haue bestow'd my monie;…
E. Dro. I haue some markes of yours vpon my pate: Some of my Mistris markes vpon my…
Ant. Thy Mistris markes? what Mistris slaue hast thou?
E. Dro. Your worships wife, my Mistris at the Phoenix; She that doth fast till you come home…
Ant. What wilt thou flout me thus vnto my face Being forbid? There take you that sir knaue.
E. Dro. What meane you sir, for God sake hold your (hands: Nay, and you will not sir,…
Exeunt Dromio Ep.
Ant. Vpon my life by some deuise or other, The villaine is ore‑wrought of all my monie. They…
Exit.
Actus Secundus.
Enter Adriana, wife to Antipholis Sereptus, with Luciana her Sister.
Adr. Neither my husband nor the slaue return'd, That in such haste I sent to seeke his Master?…
Luc. Perhaps some Merchant hath inuited him, And from the Mart he's somewhere gone to dinner: Good Sister…
Adr. Why should their libertie then ours be more?
Luc. Because their businesse still lies out adore.
Adr. Looke when I serue him so, he takes it thus.
Luc. Oh, know he is the bridle of your will.
Adr. There's none but asses will be bridled so.
Luc. Why, headstrong liberty is lasht with woe: There's nothing situate vnder heauens eye, But hath his bound…
Adri. This seruitude makes you to keepe vnwed.
Luci. Not this, but troubles of the marriage bed.
Adr. But were you wedded, you wold bear some sway
Luc. Ere I learne loue, Ile practise to obey.
Adr. How if your husband start some other where?
Luc. Till he come home againe, I would forbeare.
Adr. Patience vnmou'd, no maruel though she pause, They can be meeke, that haue no other cause: A…
Luci. Well, I will marry one day but to trie: Heere comes your man, now is your husband…
Enter Dromio Eph.
Adr. Say, is your tardie master now at hand?
E. Dro. Nay, hee's at too hands with mee, and that my two eares can witnesse.
Adr. Say, didst thou speake with him? knowst thou his minde?
E. Dro. I, I, he told his minde vpon mine eare, Beshrew his hand, I scarce could vnderstand…
Luc. Spake hee so doubtfully, thou couldst not feele his meaning.
E. Dro. Nay, hee strooke so plainly, I could too well feele his blowes; and withall so doubtfully,…
Adri. But say, I prethee, is he comming home? It seemes he hath great care to please his…
E. Dro. Why Mistresse, sure my Master is horne mad.
Adri. Horne mad, thou villaine?
E. Dro. I meane not Cuckold mad, But sure he is starke mad: When I desir'd him to…
Luci. Quoth who?
E.Dr. Quoth my Master, I know quoth he, no house, no wife, no mistresse: so that my arrant…
Adri. Go back againe, thou slaue, & fetch him home.
Dro. Goe backe againe, and be new beaten home? For Gods sake send some other messenger.
Adri. Backe slaue, or I will breake thy pate a‑crosse.
Dro. And he will blesse yT crosse with other beating: Betweene you, I shall haue a holy head.
Adri. Hence prating pesant, fetch thy Master home.
Dro. Am I so round with you, as you with me, That like a foot‑ball you doe spurne…
Luci. Fie how impatience lowreth in your face.
Adri. His company must do his minions grace, Whil'st I at home starue for a merrie looke: Hath…
Luci. Selfe‑harming Iealousie; fie beat it hence.
Ad. Vnfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispence: I know his eye doth homage other‑where, Or else, what…
Luci. How manie fond fooles serue mad Ielousie?
Exit.
Enter Antipholis Errotis.
Ant. The gold I gaue to Dromio is laid vp Safe at the Centaur, and the heedfull slaue…
Enter Dromio Siracusia.
How now sir, is your merrie humor alter'd?
As you loue stroakes, so iest with me againe:
You know no Centaur? you receiu'd no gold?
Your Mistresse sent to haue me home to dinner?
My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
That thus so madlie thou did didst answere me?
S. Dro. What answer sir? when spake I such a word?
E. Ant. Euen now, euen here, not halfe an howre since.
S. Dro. I did not see you since you sent me hence Home to the Centaur with the…
Ant. Villaine, thou didst denie the golds receit, And toldst me of a Mistresse, and a dinner, For…
S. Dro. I am glad to see you in this merrie vaine, What meanes this iest, I pray…
Ant. Yea, dost thou ieere & flowt me in the teeth? Thinkst yu I iest? hold, take thou…
S. Dr. Hold sir, for Gods sake, now your iest is earnest, Vpon what bargaine do you giue…
Antiph. Because that I familiarlie sometimes Doe vse you for my foole, and chat with you, Your sawcinesse…
S. Dro. Sconce call you it? so you would leaue batte ring, I had rather haue it a…
Ant. Dost thou not know?
S. Dro. Nothing sir, but that I am beaten.
Ant. Shall I tell you why?
S. Dro. I sir, and wherefore; for they say, euery why hath a wherefore.
Ant. Why first for flowting me, and then wherefore, for vrging it the second time to me.
S. Dro. Was there euer anie man thus beaten out of season, when in the why and the…
Ant. Thanke me sir, for what?
S. Dro. Marry sir, for this something that you gaue me for nothing.
Ant. Ile make you amends next, to giue you nothing for something. But say sir, is it dinner…
S. Dro. No sir, I thinke the meat wants that I'haue.
Ant. In good time sir: what's that?
S. Dro. Basting.
Ant. Well sir, then 'twill be drie.
S. Dro. If it be sir, I pray you eat none of it.
Ant. Your reason?
S. Dro. Lest it make you chollericke, and purchase me another drie basting.
Ant. Well sir, learne to iest in good time, there's a time for all things.
S. Dro. I durst haue denied that before you were so chollericke.
Anti. By what rule sir?
S. Dro. Marry sir, by a rule as plaine as the plaine bald pate of Father time himselfe.
Ant. Let's heare it.
S. Dro. There's no time for a man to recouer his haire that growes bald by nature.
Ant. May he not doe it by fine and recouerie?
S. Dro. Yes, to pay a fine for a perewig, and recouer the lost haire of another man.
Ant. Why, is Time such a niggard of haire, being (as it is) so plentifull an excrement?
S. Dro. Because it is a blessing that hee bestowes on beasts, and what he hath scanted them…
Ant. Why, but theres manie a man hath more haire then wit.
S. Dro. Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his haire.
Ant. Why thou didst conclude hairy men plain dea‑ lers without wit.
S. Dro. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost; yet he loo‑ seth it in a kinde of iollitie.
An. For what reason.
S. Dro. For two, and sound ones to.
An. Nay not sound I pray you.
S. Dro. Sure ones then.
An. Nay, not sure in a thing falsing.
S. Dro. Certaine ones then.
An. Name them.
S. Dro. The one to saue the money that he spends in trying: the other, that at dinner…
An. You would all this time haue prou'd, there is no time for all things.
S. Dro. Marry and did sir: namely, in no time to re‑ couer haire lost by Nature.
An. But your reason was not substantiall, why there is no time to recouer.
S. Dro. Thus I mend it: Time himselfe is bald, and therefore to the worlds end, will haue…
An. I knew'twould be a bald conclusion: but soft, who wafts vs yonder.
Enter Adriana and Luciana.
Adri. I, I, Antipholus, looke strange and frowne, Some other Mistresse hath thy sweet aspects: I am not…
Antip. Plead you to me faire dame? I know you not: In Ephesus I am but two houres…
Luci. Fie brother, how the world is chang'd with you: When were you wont to vse my sister…
Ant. By Dromio?
Drom. By me.
Adr. By thee, and this thou didst returne from him. That he did buffet thee, and in his…
Ant. Did you conuerse sir with this gentlewoman: What is the course and drift of your compact?
S. Dro. I sir? I neuer saw her till this time.
Ant. Villaine thou liest, for euen her verie words, Didst thou deliuer to me on the Mart.
S. Dro. I neuer spake with her in all my life.
Ant. How can she thus then call vs by our names? Vnlesse it be by inspiration.
Adri. How ill agrees it with your grauitie, To counterfeit thus grosely with your slaue, Abetting him to…
Ant. To mee shee speakes, shee moues mee for her theame; What, was I married to her in…
Luc. Dromio, goe bid the seruants spred for dinner.
S. Dro. Oh for my beads, I crosse me for a sinner. This is the Fairie land, oh…
Luc. Why prat'st thou to thy selfe, and answer'st not? Dromio, thou Dromio, thou snaile, thou slug, thou…
S. Dro. I am transformed Master, am I not?
Ant. I thinke thou art in minde, and so am I.
S. Dro. Nay Master, both in minde, and in my shape.
Ant. Thou hast thine owne forme.
S. Dro. No, I am an Ape.
Luc. If thou art chang'd to ought, 'tis to an Asse.
S. Dro. 'Tis true she rides me, and I long for grasse. 'Tis so, I am an Asse,…
Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a foole, To put the finger in the eie and…
Ant. Am I in earth, in heauen, or in hell? Sleeping or waking, mad or well aduisde: Knowne…
S. Dro. Master, shall I be Porter at the gate?
Adr. I, and let none enter, least I breake your pate.
Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine to late.
Actus Tertius. Scena Prima.
Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, his man Dromio, Angelo the Goldsmith, and Balthaser the Merchant.
E. Anti Good signior Angelo you must excuse vs all, My wife is shrewish when I keepe not…
E. Dro. Say what you wil sir, but I know what I know, That you beat me at…
E. Ant. I thinke thou art an asse
E. Dro. Marry so it doth appeare By the wrongs I suffer, and the blowes I beare, I…
E. An. Y'are sad signior Balthazar, pray God our cheer May answer my good will, and your good…
Bal. I hold your dainties cheap sir, & your welcom deer.
E. An. Oh signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish, A table full of welcome, makes scarce one…
Bal. Good meat sir is cõmon that euery churle affords.
Anti. And welcome more common, for thats nothing but words.
Bal. Small cheere and great welcome, makes a mer‑ rie feast.
Anti. I, to a niggardly Host, and more sparing guest: But though my cates be meane, take them…
E. Dro. Maud, Briget, Marian, Cisley, Gillian, Ginn.
S. Dro. Mome, Malthorse, Capon, Coxcombe, Idi ot, Patch, Either get thee from the dore, or sit downe…
E. Dro. What patch is made our Porter? my Master stayes in the street.
S. Dro. Let him walke from whence he came, lest hee catch cold on's feet.
E. Ant. Who talks within there? hoa, open the dore.
S. Dro. Right sir, Ile tell you when, and you'll tell me wherefore.
Ant. Wherefore? for my dinner: I haue not din'd to day.
S. Dro. Nor to day here you must not come againe when you may.
Anti. What art thou that keep'st mee out from the howse I owe?
S. Dro. The Porter for this time Sir, and my name is Dromio.
E. Dro. O villaine, thou hast stolne both mine office and my name, The one nere got me…
Enter Luce.
Luce. What a coile is there Dromio? who are those at the gate?
E. Dro. Let my Master in Luce.
Luce. Faith no, hee comes too late, and so tell your Master.
E. Dro. O Lord I must laugh, haue at you with a Pro‑ uerbe, Shall I set in…
Luce. Haue at you with another, that's when? can you tell?
S. Dro. If thy name be called Luce, Luce thou hast answer'd him well.
Anti. Doe you heare you minion, you'll let vs in I hope?
Luce. I thought to haue askt you.
S. Dro. And you said no.
E. Dro. So come helpe, well strooke, there was blow for blow.
Anti. Thou baggage let me in.
Luce. Can you tell for whose sake?
E.Drom. Master, knocke the doore hard.
Luce. Let him knocke till it ake.
Anti. You'll crie for this minion, if I beat the doore downe.
Luce. What needs all that, and a paire of stocks in the towne?
Enter Adriana.
Adr. Who is that at the doore yT keeps all this noise?
S. Dro. By my troth your towne is troubled with vnruly boies.
Anti. Are you there Wife? you might haue come before.
Adri. Your wife sir knaue? go get you from the dore.
E. Dro. If you went in paine Master, this knaue wold goe sore.
Angelo. Heere is neither cheere sir, nor welcome, we would faine haue either.
Baltz. In debating which was best, wee shall part with neither.
E. Dro. They stand at the doore, Master, bid them welcome hither.
Anti. There is something in the winde, that we cannot get in.
E. Dro. You would say so Master, if your garments were thin. Your cake here is warme within:…
Ant. Go fetch me something, Ile break ope the gate.
S. Dro. Breake any breaking here, and Ile breake your knaues pate.
E. Dro. A man may breake a word with your sir, and words are but winde: I and…
S. Dro. It seemes thou want'st breaking, out vpon thee hinde.
E. Dro. Here's too much out vpon thee, I pray thee let me in.
S. Dro. I, when fowles haue no feathers, and fish haue no fin.
Ant. Well, Ile breake in: go borrow me a crow.
E. Dro. A crow without feather, Master meane you so; For a fish without a finne, ther's a…
Ant. Go, get thee gon, fetch me an iron Crow.
Balth. Haue patience sir, oh let it not be so, Heerein you warre against your reputation, And draw…
Anti. You haue preuail'd, I will depart in quiet, And in despight of mirth meane to be merrie:…
Ang. Ile meet you at that place some houre hence.
Anti. Do so, this iest shall cost me some expence.
Exeunt.
Enter Iuliana, with Antipholus of Siracusia.
Iulia. And may it be that you haue quite forgot A husbands office? shall Antipholus Euen in the…
S.Anti. Sweete Mistris, what your name is else I know not; Nor by what wonder you do hit…
Luc. What are you mad, that you doe reason so?
Ant. Not mad, but mated, how I doe not know.
Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your eie.
Ant. For gazing on your beames faire sun being by.
Luc. Gaze when you should, and that will cleere your sight.
Ant. As good to winke sweet loue, as looke on night.
Luc. Why call you me loue? Call my sister so.
Ant. Thy sisters sister.
Luc. That's my sister.
Ant. No: it is thy selfe, mine owne selfes better part: Mine eies cleere eie, my deere hearts…
Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be.
Ant. Call thy selfe sister sweet, for I am thee: Thee will I loue, and with thee lead…
Luc. Oh soft sir, hold you still: Ile fetch my sister to get her good will.
Exit.
Enter Dromio, Siracusia.
Ant. Why how now Dromio, where run'st thou so fast?
S. Dro. Doe you know me sir? Am I Dromio? Am I your man? Am I my selfe?
Ant. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thy selfe.
Dro. I am an asse, I am a womans man, and besides my selfe.
Ant. What womans man? and how besides thy selfe?
Dro. Marrie sir, besides my selfe, I am due to a woman: One that claimes me, one that…
Anti. What claime laies she to thee?
Dro. Marry sir, such claime as you would lay to your horse, and she would haue me as…
Anti. What is she?
Dro. A very reuerent body: I such a one, as a man may not speake of, without he…
Anti. How dost thou meane a fat marriage? Dro. Marry sir, she's the Kitchin wench, & al grease,…
Anti. What complexion is she of?
Dro. Swart like my shoo, but her face nothing like so cleane kept: for why? she sweats a…
Anti. That's a fault that water will mend.
Dro. No sir, 'tis in graine, Noahs flood could not do it.
Anti. What's her name?
Dro. Nell Sir: but her name is three quarters, that's an Ell and three quarters, will not measure…
Anti. Then she beares some bredth?
Dro. No longer from head to foot, then from hippe to hippe: she is sphericall, like a globe:…
Anti. In what part of her body stands Ireland?
Dro. Marry sir in her buttockes, I found it out by the bogges.
Ant. Where Scotland?
Dro. I found it by the barrennesse, hard in the palme of the hand.
Ant. Where France?
Dro. In her forhead, arm'd and reuerted, making warre against her heire.
Ant. Where England?
Dro. I look'd for the chalkle Cliffes, but I could find no whitenesse in them. But I guesse,…
Ant. Where Spaine?
Dro. Faith I saw it not: but I felt it hot in her breth.
Ant. Where America, the Indies?
Dro. Oh sir, vpon her nose, all ore embellished with Rubies, Carbuncles, Saphires, declining their rich Aspect to…
Anti. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?
Dro. Oh sir, I did not looke so low. To conclude, this drudge or Diuiner layd claime to…
Anti. Go hie thee presently, post to the rode, And if the winde blow any way from shore,…
Dro. As from a Beare a man would run for life, So flie I from her that would…
Exit.
Anti. There's none but Witches do inhabite heere, And therefore 'tis hie time that I were hence: She…
Enter Angelo with the Chaine.
Ang. Mr Antipholus.
Anti. I that's my name.
Ang. I know it well sir, loe here's the chaine, I thought to haue tane you at the…
Anti. What is your will that I shal do with this?
Ang. What please your selfe sir: I haue made it for you.
Anti. Made it for me sir, I bespoke it not.
Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twentie times you haue: Go home with it, and please your Wife…
Anti. I pray you sir receiue the money now. For feare you ne're see chaine, nor mony more.
Ang. You are a merry man sir, fare you well.
Exit.
Ant. What I should thinke of this, I cannot tell: But this I thinke, there's no man is…
Exit.
Actus Quartus. Scoena Prima.
Enter a Merchant, Goldsmith, and an Officer.
Mar. You know since Pentecost the sum is due, And since I haue not much importun'd you, Nor…
Gold. Euen iust the sum that I do owe to you, Is growing to me by Antipholus, And…
Enter Antipholus Ephes.Dromio from the Courtizans.
Offi. That labour may you saue: See where he comes.
Ant. While I go to the Goldsmiths house, go thou And buy a ropes end, that will I…
Dro. I buy a thousand pound a yeare, I buy a rope.
Exit Dromio
Eph.Ant. A man is well holpe vp that trusts to you, I promised your presence, and the Chaine,…
Gold. Sauing your merrie humor: here's the note How much your Chaine weighs to the vtmost charect, The…
Anti. I am not furnish'd with the present monie: Besides I haue some businesse in the towne, Good…
Gold. Then you will bring the Chaine to her your selfe.
Anti. No beare it with you, least I come not time enough.
Gold. Well sir, I will? Haue you the Chaine about you?
Ant. And if I haue not sir, I hope you haue: Or else you may returne without your…
Gold. Nay come I pray you sir, giue me the Chaine: Both winde and tide stayes for this…
Anti. Good Lord, you vse this dalliance to excuse Your breach of promise to the Porpentine, I should…
Mar. The houre steales on, I pray you sir dispatch.
Gold. You heare how he importunes me, the Chaine.
Ant. Why giue it to my wife, and fetch your mony.
Gold. Come, come, you know I gaue it you euen now. Either send the Chaine, or send me…
Ant. Fie, now you run this humor out of breath, Come where's the Chaine, I pray you let…
Mar. My businesse cannot brooke this dalliance, Good sir say, whe'r you'l answer me, or no: If not,…
Ant. I answer you? What should I answer you.
Gold. The monie that you owe me for the Chaine.
Ant. I owe you none, till I receiue the Chaine.
Gold. You know I gaue it you halfe an houre since.
Ant. You gaue me none, you wrong mee much to say so.
Gold. You wrong me more sir in denying it. Consider how it stands vpon my credit.
Mar. Well Officer, arrest him at my suite.
Offi. I do, and charge you in the Dukes name to obey me.
Gold. This touches me in reputation. Either consent to pay this sum for me, Or I attach you…
Ant. Consent to pay thee that I neuer had: Arrest me foolish fellow if thou dar'st.
Gold. Heere is thy fee, arrest him Officer. I would not spare my brother in this case, If…
Offic. I do arrest you sir, you heare the suite.
Ant. I do obey thee, till I giue thee baile. But sirrah, you shall buy this sport as…
Gold. Sir, sir, I shall haue Law in Ephesus, To your notorious shame, I doubt it not.
Enter Dromio Sira. from the Bay.
Dro. Master, there's a Barke of Epidamium, That staies but till her Owner comes aboord, And then sir…
An. How now? a Madman? Why thou peeuish sheep What ship of Epidamium staies for me.
S. Dro. A ship you sent me too, to hier waftage.
Ant. Thou drunken slaue, I sent thee for a rope, And told thee to what purpose, and what…
S. Dro. You sent me for a ropes end as soone, You sent me to the Bay sir,…
Ant. I will debate this matter at more leisure And teach your eares to list me with more…
Exeunt.
S.Dromio. To Adriana, that is where we din'd, Where Dowsabell did claime me for her husband, She is…
Exit.
Enter Adriana and Luciana.
Adr. Ah Luciana, did he tempt thee so? Might'st thou perceiue austeerely in his eie, That he did…
Luc. First he deni'de you had in him no right.
Adr. He meant he did me none: the more my spight
Luc. Then swore he that he was a stranger heere.
Adr. And true he swore, though yet forsworne hee were.
Luc. Then pleaded I for you.
Adr. And what said he?
Luc. That loue I begg'd for you, he begg'd of me.
Adr. With what perswasion did he tempt thy loue?
Luc. With words, that in an honest suit might moue. First, he did praise my beautie, then my…
Adr. Did'st speake him faire?
Luc. Haue patience I beseech.
Adr. I cannot, nor I will not hold me still, My tongue, though not my heart, shall haue…
Luc. Who would be iealous then of such a one? No euill lost is wail'd, when it is…
Adr. Ah but I thinke him better then I say: And yet would herein others eies were worse:…
Enter S.Dromio.
Dro. Here goe: the deske, the purse, sweet now make haste.
Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath?
S. Dro. By running fast.
Adr. Where is thy Master Dromio? Is he well?
S. Dro. No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse then hell: A diuell in an euerlasting garment hath him;…
Adr. Why man, what is the matter?
S. Dro. I doe not know the matter, hee is rested on the case.
Adr. What is he arrested? tell me at whose suite?
S. Dro. I know not at whose suite he is arested well; but is in a suite of…
Adr. Go fetch it Sister: this I wonder at.
Exit Luciana.
Thus he vnknowne to me should be in debt:
Tell me, was he arested on a band?
S. Dro. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing: A chaine, a chaine, doe you not…
Adria. What, the chaine?
S. Dro. No, no, the bell, 'tis time that I were gone: It was two ere I left…
Adr. The houres come backe, that did I neuer here.
S. Dro. Oh yes, if any houre meete a Serieant, a turnes backe for verie feare.
Adri. As if time were in debt: how fondly do'st thou reason?
S. Dro. Time is a verie bankerout, and owes more then he's worth to season. Nay, he's a…
Enter Luciana.
Adr. Go Dromio, there's the monie, beare it straight, And bring thy Master home imediately. Come sister, I…
Exit.
Enter Antipholus Siracusia.
There's not a man I meete but doth salute me
As if I were their well acquainted friend,
And euerie one doth call me by my name:
Some tender monie to me, some inuite me;
Some other giue me thankes for kindnesses;
Some offer me Commodities to buy.
Euen now a tailor cal'd me in his shop,
And show'd me Silkes that he had bought for me,
And therewithall tooke measure of my body.
Sure these are but imaginarie wiles,
And lapland Sorcerers inhabite here.
Enter Dromio. Sir.
S. Dro. Master, here's the gold you sent me for: what haue you got the picture of old…
Ant. What gold is this? What Adam do'st thou meane?
S. Dro. Not that Adam that kept the Paradise: but that Adam that keepes the prison; hee that…
Ant. I vnderstand thee not.
S. Dro. No? why 'tis a plaine case: he that went like a BaseViole in a case of…
Ant. What thou mean'st an officer?
S. Dro. I sir, the Serieant of the Band: he that brings any man to answer it that…
Ant. Well sir, there rest in your foolerie: Is there any ships puts forth to night? may we…
S. Dro. Why sir, I brought you word an houre since, that the Barke Expedition put forth to…
Ant. The fellow is distract, and so am I, And here we wander in illusions: Some blessed power…
Enter a Curtizan.
Cur. Well met, well met, Master Antipholus: I see sir you haue found the Goldsmith now: Is that…
Ant. Sathan auoide, I charge thee tempt me not.
S. Dro. Master, is this Mistris Sathan?
Ant. It is the diuell.
S. Dro. Nay, she is worse, she is the diuels dam: And here she comes in the habit…
Cur. Your man and you are maruailous merrie sir. Will you goe with me, wee'll mend our dinner…
S. Dro. Master, if do expect spoonmeate, or bespeake a long spoone.
Ant. Why Dromio?
S. Dro. Marrie he must haue a long spoone that must eate with the diuell.
Ant. Auoid then fiend, what tel'st thou me of sup (ping? Thou art, as you are all a…
Cur. Giue me the ring of mine you had at dinner, Or for my Diamond the Chaine you…
S. Dro. Some diuels aske but the parings of ones naile, a rush, a haire, a drop of…
Cur. I pray you sir my Ring, or else the Chaine, I hope you do not meane to…
Ant. Auant thou witch: Come Dromio let vs go.
S. Dro. Flie pride saies the Peacocke, Mistris that you know.
Exit.
Cur. Now out of doubt Antipholus is mad, Else would he neuer so demeane himselfe, A Ring he…
Enter Antipholus Ephes. with a Iailor.
An. Feare me not man, I will not breake away, Ile giue thee ere I leaue thee so…
Enter Dromio Eph. with a ropes end.
Heere comes my Man, I thinke he brings the monie.
How now sir? Haue you that I sent you for?
E. Dro. Here's that I warrant you will pay them all.
Anti. But where's the Money?
E. Dro. Why sir, I gaue the Monie for the Rope.
Ant. Fiue hundred Duckets villaine for a rope?
E. Dro. Ile serue you sir fiue hundred at the rate.
Ant. To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
E. Dro. To a ropes end sir, and to that end am I return'd.
Ant. And to that end sir, I will welcome you.
Offi. Good sir be patient.
E. Dro. Nay 'tis for me to be patient, I am in aduersitie.
Offi. Good now hold thy tongue.
E. Dro. Nay, rather perswade him to hold his hands.
Anti. Thou whoreson senselesse Villaine.
E. Dro. I would I were senselesse sir, that I might not feele your blowes.
Anti. Thou art sensible in nothing but blowes, and so is an Asse.
E. Dro. I am an Asse indeede, you may prooue it by my long eares. I haue serued…
Enter Adriana, Luciana, Courtizan, and a Schoolemaster, call'd Pinch.
Ant. Come goe along, my wife is comming yonder.
E. Dro. Mistris respice finem, respect your end, or rather the prophesie like the Parrat, beware the ropes…
Anti. Wilt thou still talke?
Beats Dro.
Curt. How say you now? Is not your husband mad?
Adri. His inciuility confirmes no lesse: Good Doctor Pinch, you are a Coniurer, Establish him in his true…
Luc. Alas how fiery, and how sharpe he lookes.
Cur. Marke, how he trembles in his extasie.
Pinch. Giue me your hand, and let mee feele your pulse.
Ant. There is my hand, and let it feele your eare.
Pinch. I charge thee Sathan, hous'd within this man, To yeeld possession to my holie praiers, And to…
Anti. Peace doting wizard, peace; I am not mad.
Adr. Oh that thou wer't not, poore distressed soule.
Anti. You Minion you, are these your Customers? Did this Companion with the saffron face Reuell and feast…
Adr. O husband, God doth know you din'd at home Where would you had remain'd vntill this time,…
Anti. Din'd at home? Thou Villaine, what sayest thou?
Dro. Sir sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
Ant. Were not my doores lockt vp, and I shut out?
Dro. Perdie, your doores were lockt, and you shut out.
Anti. And did not she her selfe reuile me there?
Dro. Sans Fable, she her selfe reuil'd you there.
Anti. Did not her Kitchen maide raile, taunt, and scorne me?
Dro. Certis she did, the kitchin vestall scorn'd you.
Ant. And did not I in rage depart from thence?
Dro. In veritie you did, my bones beares witnesse, That since haue felt the vigor of his rage.
Adr. Is't good to sooth him in these crontraries?
Pinch. It is no shame, the fellow finds his vaine, And yeelding to him, humors well his frensie.
Ant. Thou hast subborn'd the Goldsmith to arrest mee.
Adr. Alas, I sent you Monie to redeeme you, By Dromio heere, who came in hast for it.
Dro. Monie by me? Heart and good will you might, But surely Master not a ragge of Monie.
Ant. Wentst not thou to her for a purse of Duckets.
Adri. He came to me, and I deliuer'd it.
Luci. And I am witnesse with her that she did:
Dro. God and the Rope‑maker beare me witnesse, That I was sent for nothing but a rope.
Pinch. Mistris, both Man and Master is possest, I know it by their pale and deadly lookes, They…
Ant. Say wherefore didst thou locke me forth to day, And why dost thou denie the bagge of…
Adr. I did not gentle husband locke thee forth.
Dro. And gentle Mr I receiu'd no gold: But I confesse sir, that we were lock'd out.
Adr. Dissembling Villain, thou speak'st false in both
Ant. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all, And art confederate with a damned packe, To make a…
Enter three or foure, and offer to binde him: Hee striues.
Adr. Oh binde him, binde him, let him not come neere me.
Pinch. More company, the fiend is strong within him
Luc. Aye me poore man, how pale and wan he looks.
Ant. What will you murther me, thou Iailor thou? I am thy prisoner, wilt thou suffer them to…
Offi. Masters let him go: he is my prisoner, and you shall not haue him.
Pinch. Go binde this man, for he is franticke too.
Adr. What wilt thou do, thou peeuish Officer? Hast thou delight to see a wretched man Do outrage…
Offi. He is my prisoner, if I let him go, The debt he owes will be requir'd of…
Adr. I will discharge thee ere I go from thee, Beare me forthwith vnto his Creditor, And knowing…
Ant. Oh most vnhappie strumpet.
Dro. Master, I am heere entred in bond for you.
Ant. Out on thee Villaine, wherefore dost thou mad mee?
Dro. Will you be bound for nothing, be mad good Master, cry the diuell.
Luc. God helpe poore soules, how idlely doe they talke.
Adr. Go beare him hence, sister go you with me: Say now, whose suite is he arrested at?
Exeunt. Manet Offic. Adri. Luci. Courtizan
Off. One Angelo a Goldsmith, do you know him?
Adr. I know the man: what is the summe he owes?
Off. Two hundred Duckets.
Adr. Say, how growes it due.
Off. Due for a Chaine your husband had of him.
Adr. He did bespeake a Chain for me, but had it not.
Cur. When as your husband all in rage to day Came to my house, and tooke away my…
Adr. It may be so, but I did neuer see it. Come Iailor, bring me where the Goldsmith…
Enter Antipholus Siracusia with his Rapier drawne, and Dromio Sirac.
Luc. God for thy mercy, they are loose againe.
Adr. And come with naked swords, Let's call more helpe to haue them bound againe.
Runne all out.
Off. Away, they'l kill vs.
Exeunt. omnes, as fast as may be, frighted.
S. Ant. I see these Witches are affraid of swords.
S. Dro. She that would be your wife, now ran from you.
Ant. Come to the Centaur, fetch our stuffe from thence: I long that we were safe and sound…
Dro. Faith stay heere this night, they will surely do vs no harme: you saw they speake vs…
Ant. I will not stay to night for all the Towne, Therefore away, to get our stuffe aboord.
Exeunt.
Actus Quintus. Scœna Prima.
Enter the Merchant and the Goldsmith.
Gold. I am sorry Sir that I haue hindred you, But I protest he had the Chaine of…
Mar. How is the man esteem'd heere in the Citie?
Gold. Of very reuerent reputation sir, Of credit infinite, highly belou'd, Second to none that liues heere in…
Mar. Speake softly, yonder as I thinke he walkes.
Enter Antipholus and Dromio againe.
Gold. 'Tis so: and that selfe chaine about his necke, Which he forswore most monstrously to haue. Good…
Ant. I thinke I had, I neuer did deny it.
Mar. Yes that you did sir, and forswore it too.
Ant. Who heard me to denie it or forsweare it?
Mar. These eares of mine thou knowst did hear thee: Fie on thee wretch, 'tis pitty that thou…
Ant. Thou art a Villaine to impeach me thus, Ile proue mine honor, and mine honestie Against thee…
Mar. I dare and do defie thee for a villaine.
They draw. Enter Adriana, Luciana, Courtezan, & others.
Adr. Hold, hurt him not for God sake, he is mad, Some get within him, take his sword…
S. Dro. Runne master run, for Gods sake take a house, This is some Priorie, in, or we…
Exeunt. to the Priorie.
Enter Ladie Abbesse.
Ab. Be quiet people, wherefore throng you hither?
Adr. To fetch my poore distracted husband hence, Let vs come in, that we may binde him fast,…
Gold. I knew he was not in his perfect wits.
Mar. I am sorry now that I did draw on him.
Ab. How long hath this possession held the man.
Adr. This weeke he hath beene heauie, sower sad, And much different from the man he was: But…
Ab. Hath he not lost much wealth by wrack of sea, Buried some deere friend, hath not else…
Adr. To none of these, except it be the last, Namely, some loue that drew him oft from…
Ab. You should for that haue reprehended him.
Adr. Why so I did.
Ab. I but not rough enough.
Adr. As roughly as my modestie would let me.
Ab. Haply in priuate.
Adr. And in assemblies too.
Ab. I, but not enough.
Adr. It was the copie of our Conference. In bed he slept not for my vrging it, At…
Ab. And thereof came it, that the man was mad. The venome clamors of a iealous woman, Poisons…
Luc. She neuer reprehended him but mildely, When he demean'd himselfe, rough, rude, and wildly, Why beare you…
Adri. She did betray me to my owne reproofe, Good people enter, and lay hold on him.
Ab. No, not a creature enters in my house.
Ad. Then let your seruants bring my husband forth
Ab. Neither: he tooke this place for sanctuary, And it shall priuiledge him from your hands, Till I…
Adr. I will attend my husband, be his nurse, Diet his sicknesse, for it is my Office, And…
Ab. Be patient, for I will not let him stirre, Till I haue vs'd the approoued meanes I…
Adr. I will not hence, and leaue my husband heere: And ill it doth beseeme your holinesse To…
Ab. Be quiet and depart, thou shalt not haue him.
Luc. Complaine vnto the Duke of this indignity.
Adr. Come go, I will fall prostrate at his feete, And neuer rise vntill my teares and prayers…
Mar. By this I thinke the Diall points at fiue: Anon I'me sure the Duke himselfe in person…
Gold. Vpon what cause?
Mar. To see a reuerent Siracusian Merchant, Who put vnluckily into this Bay Against the Lawes and Statutes…
Gold. See where they come, we wil behold his death
Luc. Kneele to the Duke before he passe the Abbey.
Enter the Duke of Ephesus, and the Merchant of Siracuse bare head, with the Headsman, & other Officers.
Duke. Yet once againe proclaime it publikely, If any friend will pay the summe for him, He shall…
Adr. Iustice most sacred Duke against the Abbesse.
Duke. She is a vertuous and a reuerend Lady, It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong.
Adr. May it please your Grace, Antipholus my husbãd, Who I made Lord of me, and all I…
Duke. Long since thy husband seru'd me in my wars And I to thee ingag'd a Princes word.…
Enter a Messenger.
Oh Mistris, Mistris, shift and saue your selfe,
My Master and his man are both broke loose,
Beaten the Maids a‑row, and bound the Doctor,
Whose beard they haue sindg'd off with brands of fire,
And euer as it blaz'd, they threw on him
Great pailes of puddled myre to quench the haire;
My Mr preaches patience to him, and the while
His man with Cizers nickes him like a foole:
And sure (vnlesse you send some present helpe)
Betweene them they will kill the Coniurer.
Adr. Peace foole, thy Master and his man are here, And that is false thou dost report to…
Mess. Mistris, vpon my life I tel you true, I haue not breath'd almost since I did see…
Cry within.
Harke, harke, I heare him Mistris: flie, be gone.
Duke. Come stand by me, feare nothing: guard with Halberds.
Adr. Ay me, it is my husband: witnesse you, That he is borne about inuisible, Euen now we…
Enter Antipholus, and E. Dromio of Ephesus.
E. Ant. Iustice most gracious Duke, oh grant me iu (stice, Euen for the seruice that long since…
Mar.Fat. Vnlesse the feare of death doth make me dote, I see my sonne Antipholus and Dromio.
E. Ant. Iustice (sweet Prince) against yd Woman there: She whom thou gau'st to me to be my…
Duke. Discouer how, and thou shalt f□□□ me iust.
E. Ant. This day (great Duke) she s□□□□□ doores vpon me, While she with Harlots feasted in my…
Duke. A greeuous fault: say woman, didst thou so?
Adr. No my good Lord. My selfe, he, and my sister, To day did dine together: so befall…
Luc. Nere may I looke on day, nor sleepe on night, But she tels to your Highnesse simple…
Gold. O periur'd woman! They are both forsworne, In this the Madman iustly chargeth them.
E. Ant. My Liege, I am aduised what I say, Neither disturbed with the effect of Wine, Nor…
Gold. My Lord, in truth, thus far I witnes with him: That he din'd not at home, but…
Duke. But had he such a Chaine of thee, or no?
Gold. He had my Lord, and when he ran in heere, These people saw the Chaine about his…
Mar. Besides, I will be sworne these eares of mine, Heard you confesse you had the Chaine of…
E. Ant. I neuer came within these Abbey wals, Nor euer didst thou draw thy sword on me:…
Duke. Why what an intricate impeach is this? I thinke you all haue drunke of Circes cup: If…
E. Dro. Sir he din'de with her there, at the Porpentine.
Cur. He did, and from my finger snacht that Ring.
E. Anti Tis true (my Liege) this Ring I had of her.
Duke. Saw'st thou him enter at the Abbey heere?
Curt. As sure (my Liege) as I do see your Grace.
Duke. Why this is straunge: Go call the Abbesse hi‑ ther. I thinke you are all mated, or…
Exit one to the Abbesse.
Fa. Most mighty Duke, vouchsafe me speak a word: Haply I see a friend will saue my life,…
Duke. Speake freely Siracusian what thou wilt.
Fath. Is not your name sir call'd Antipholus? And is not that your bondman Dromio?
E. Dro. Within this houre I was his bondman sir, But he I thanke him gnaw'd in two…
Fath. I am sure you both of you remember me.
Dro. Our selues we do remember sir by you: For lately we were bound as you are now.…
Father. Why looke you strange on me? you know me well.
E. Ant. I neuer saw you in my life till now.
Fa. Oh! griefe hath chang'd me since you saw me last, And carefull houres with times deformed hand,…
Ant. Neither.
Fat. Dromio, nor thou?
Dro. No trust me sir, nor I.
Fa. I am sure thou dost?
E. Dromio. I sir, but I am sure I do not, and whatso‑ euer a man denies, you…
Fath. Not know my voice, oh times extremity Hast thou so crack'd and splitted my poore tongue In…
Ant. I neuer saw my Father in my life.
Fa. But seuen yeares since, in Siracusa boy Thou know'st we parted, but perhaps my sonne, Thou sham'st…
Ant. The Duke, and all that know me in the City, Can witnesse with me that it is…
Duke. I tell thee Siracusian, twentie yeares Haue I bin Patron to Antipholus, During which time, he ne're…
Enter the Abbesse with Antipholus Siracusa, and Dromio Sir.
Abbesse. Most mightie Duke, behold a man much wrong'd.
All gather to see them.
Adr. I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceiue me.
Duke. One of these men is genius to the other: And so of these, which is the naturall…
S.Dromio. I Sir am Dromio, command him away.
E. Dro. I Sir am Dromio, pray let me stay.
S. Ant. Egeon art thou not? or else his ghost.
S.Drom. Oh my olde Master, who hath bound him heere?
Abb. Who euer bound him, I will lose his bonds, And gaine a husband by his libertie: Speake…
Duke. Why heere begins his Morning storie right: These two Antipholus, these two so like, And these two…
Fa. If I dreame not, thou art &Æmilia, If thou art she, tell me, where is that sonne…
Abb. By men of Epidamium, he, and I, And the twin Dromio, all were taken vp; But by…
Duke. Antipholus thou cam'st from Corinth first.
S. Ant. No sir, not I, I came from Siracuse.
Duke. Stay, stand apart, I know not which is which.
E. Ant. I came from Corinth my most gracious Lord
E. Dro. And I with him.
E. Ant. Brought to this Town by that most famous Warriour, Duke Menaphon your most renowned Vnckle.
Adr. Which of you two did dine with me to day?
S. Ant. I, gentle Mistris.
Adr. And are not you my husband?
E. Ant. No, I say nay to that.
S. Ant. And so do I, yet did she call me so: And this faire Gentlewoman her sister…
Goldsmith. That is the Chaine sir, which you had of mee.
S. Ant. I thinke it be sir, I denie it not.
E. Ant. And you sir for this Chaine arrested me.
Gold. I thinke I did sir, I deny it not.
Adr. I sent you monie sir to be your baile By Dromio, but I thinke he brought it…
E. Dro. No, none by me.
S. Ant. This purse of Duckets I receiu'd from you, And Dromio my man did bring them me:…
E. Ant. These Duckets pawne I for my father heere.
Duke. It shall not neede, thy father hath his life.
Cur. Sir I must haue that Diamond from you.
E. Ant. There take it, and much thanks for my good cheere.
Abb. Renowned Duke, vouchsafe to take the paines To go with vs into the Abbey heere, And heare…
Duke. With all my heart, Ile Gossip at this feast.
Exeunt. omnes. Manet the two Dromio's and two Brothers.
S. Dro. Mast. shall I fetch your stuffe from shipbord?
E. An. Dromio, what stuffe of mine hast thou imbarkt.
S. Dro. Your goods that lay at host sir in the Centaur.
S. Ant. He speakes to me, I am your master Dromio. Come go with vs, wee'l looke to…
Exit.
S. Dro. There is a fat friend at your masters house, That kitchin'd me for you to day…
E. D. Me thinks you are my glasse, & not my brother: I see by you, I am…
S. Dro. Not I sir, you are my elder.
E. Dro. That's a question, how shall we trie it.
S. Dro. Wee'l draw Cuts for the Signior, till then, lead thou first.
E. Dro. Nay then thus: We came into the world like brother and brother: And now let's go…
Exeunt.